~beautifulangel~ People who are meant to be together, ALWAYS find their way in the end!!

lilBeautifulangel7:25 PM

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Monday, January 21, 2008

Intense pain I go through.

The head hurts like hell these past few weeks. I have been suffering more and it really hurts so much. At times, I can just cry cause of the pain that I am going through. Its really painful and I do not know how to describe the pain. I get it more often these days. And at times, its constantly there!!

I do not know if I can take the pain any longer. But I am trying my best till the scan next month. I really hope I can tahan till next month. There are many times, where I just feel like I can collapse any moment and I am very scared cause of that.

Please just pray for me that everything will be alright.

lilBeautifulangel6:32 PM

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Sunday, January 13, 2008

Happy Birthday Babyboy!!

Happy Birthday Baby & Michael.

May God Bless U Always =)

On the eve of Baby's birthday, I stayed over so that i can spend time wid him and celebrate with him at mid-night. Baby went cycling and came back only at 4 am in the morning. I was waiting for him though, cause I had some surprise for him.

On his birthday itself, I brought him to Escape Theme Park. The ticket price was 16.50 but we only paid 12 bucks, as there was someone who sold their free ticket as they didnt wanna go. I was very glad. We had a really good time over at the place. We tried all the ride and even played the water games. We were soaking wet. I am glad baby enjoyed his day.

After that, we came home to take a shower and then we went for Novena. We headed to Bugis after that and went shopping around a while. Then we 'accidently' bumped into Michael and Sister. (But from here onwards it was all planned but the boys didnt know!!). So we headed back home together. Then suddenly we had a hone call from baby's sister saying that their mother has fainted and so we rushed there instead of home. Nearing the house, we were kinda caught in a jam, but it was near their house. So baby just got out of the cab and ran towards their house. I was so shocked that he just got out like tt in the middle of the road.

Upon reaching the house, baby already got his surprise so it was Michael's turn. In the end, they found out that the whole day was planned and not jst coincidence. *haha* But i am very glad that baby enjoyed his birthday. It is my first birthday celebrating with him. =)

lilBeautifulangel12:40 AM

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Thursday, January 10, 2008

The people I miss so much!!

these two have been there for me so much and i miss them loads. but nothing will ever change the love i have for them. thanks for supporting and taking care of me so much. i love u so much.

the person who is more than a cousin to me. she is more like my older sister whom i look up to and love so much. i feel we have drifted apart so much but i will not let it happen anymore. i am going to make more time for you from now on. i love you so much and thanks for always being there for me.

the times we used to have was fun and unexplainable. now we have moved into a world where its jut basic routine and no adventure to it at all. i miss those times where we just sit and laugh out loud. where we are just enjoying so much and full of love. now we have changed so much that i do not even know what to call it now. although the love is still there, its just very different and very subtle i would say. we will try to make it better and i know that we can do it. no matter how much people can object to us or try to put obstacles in our way, i know we will face it and grow stronger. cause what we want only matters and especially our happiness matters. not in a way that we do things to displease others but we are together cause we are happy and in love. but if people are not happy about it, we cant do anything about that, but just hope that they will change their minds eventually. cause we are just going to stick on and make all of this work!!

I love u babe and thats all that matters. you are a person who taught me so much and i am ever so grateful. thanks so much dada. you make me so happy and i am glad i have u in my life. =)

lilBeautifulangel7:50 PM

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Tuesday, January 08, 2008

When the past makes you smile =)

I was just looking at all my past pictures and videos and I could not help but smile broadly, and at times without even knowing I am doing it. I had totally forgotten about certain videos and memories but all of it brought it back for me. I am really glad as I needed to take my mind of certain things that I have been bothered about lately. I just miss my poly friends and the times we had. I saw the video of last year's chalet during CNY with th tossing of the food and all. Its just great memories.

There are certain things that I am quite fearful and cautious about my behaviour and actions. I am quite upset and bothered about certain things and I feel that things will never be the same s before. I have started to see things in a whole new pespective and it restrains me from really being myself to people. Maybe its also good, cause I know I talk too much and at times it gets me in quite a bit of trouble.

Now I have learnt not to be bothered about other people's business and just to mind my own. I feel that all of these things are part of the reason I am quite disturbed and affected. I think that now my life will be a tad bit better.

I realised that when I work with kids, they can just change you mood totally. From bad to worse, or even bad to good!! The other day when I was walking in to work, saw this boy from the Cerebral Palsy School in the school bus looking at me and smiling. And I smiled back too. Then he waved at me and it really lifted my heart. I felt as if my whole world changed. I do not know how but I feel that kids can sense when you are angry or upset and they just can change it. I have certain kids who make my day a whole lot better too. And I always look forward to those sessions with the kids. I am glad that I have this job where it makes me a whole lot better!

Anyway, speaking of my job I have some great news to share. The boss that I have been complaining about just tendered her resignation and will be leaving by the end of this month. I guess GOD really heard all our prayers. Now my senior teacher will be the acting HOD for 6 months before my ED decides if she fit the job. Anyway, this paricular teacher is going to give birth anyday soon, and I am so excited. Ok enough said about my job.

I have recently started to read agian and I feel that it is a good way to divert my attention and also keep me from talking too much. And I am glad that I did it back again. I am not back to my own house. And I miss my family so darn much. I think of them always when I stay over at baby's house. For the next couple of days I will be staying over here and head back to baby's for the weekend. I am glad I am home. I miss and love my family so much, no matter what mistakes we have made or what problems we face!!!

lilBeautifulangel8:21 PM

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Saturday, January 05, 2008

I Hate How Much I Love U Babe!!

Have you ever been in love so much that it hurts so much at times. I have been there so many times. Sometimes its so hurting, but i cant seem to leave no matter what. It feels like you are being understood one minute and the next is the total opposite. I am so confused by the way it is all happening. I am not sure if I know what I am doing. I do not even know if I am able to keep strong and go on.

I keed you so much more than you can ever imagine. Its all the obstacles that I face that strains me to the very last bit. On top of that, I have to face it all by myself. I need the support and strength from you. Please do not leave me stranded all by myself in this Lonely World!!

I have learnt so much in this past couple of months and I am very happy that I have learnt all of it. But it comes to a point where it keeps triggering me and I have no idea hwo to deal with the situation.

Sometimes, I wonder if I have made the right choice or should I just leave. But it comes to a point where I realise that things will never be the same without you. And that I want you by my side no matter what happens, be it happy or sad or angry moments. I love you and thats all that matters.

Now I need the support from you and for you to stand up for this relationship. Cause I believe that if you really want something, you have to stick by it and trust it with everything that you have. And you need to do that more, cause recently you have been slipping away.

Thanks so much for everything that you have done. The love I have for you will never ever change. Muacks!!

lilBeautifulangel9:19 PM

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Saying the Right Thing

Jack wakes up with a huge hangover after attending his company's Christmas Party. Jack is not normally a drinker, but the drinks didn't taste like alcohol at all. He didn't even remember how he got home from the party. As bad as he was feeling, he wondered if he did something wrong.Jack had to force himself to open his eyes and the first thing he sees is a couple of aspirins next to a glass of water on the side table. And, next to them, a single red rose! Jack sits up and sees his clothing in front of him, all clean and pressed. He looks around the room and sees that it is in perfect order, spotlessly clean. So is the rest of the house. He takes the aspirins, cringes when he sees a huge black eye staring back at him in the bathroom mirror. Then he notices a note hanging on the corner of the mirror written in red with little hearts on it and a kiss mark from his wife in Lipstick:'Honey, breakfast is on the stove,I left early to get groceries to make you your favorite dinner tonight.I love you, darling! Love, Jillian'He stumbles to the kitchen and sure enough, there is hot breakfast, steaming hot coffee and the morning newspaper. His son is also at the table, eating. Jack asks, 'Son... What happened last night?''Well, you came home after 3 A.M., drunk and out of your mind. You fell over the coffee table and broke it, and then you puked in the hallway, and got that black eye when you ran into the door.Confused, he asked his son, 'So, why is everything in such perfect order and so clean? I have a rose, and breakfast is on the table waiting for me??'His son replies, 'Oh THAT! Mom dragged you to the bedroom, and when she tried to take your pants off, you screamed, 'Leave me alone, I'm married!!'

Broken Coffee Table $239.99
Hot Breakfast $4.20
Two Aspirins $.38
Saying the right thing, at the right time. . . PRICELESS!!!

lilBeautifulangel9:17 PM

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Friday, January 04, 2008

Who can you trust?

In this world, you can only trust yourself and no one else. At times, the people you think you knew so much about or loved so much, cant be trusted at all too. Its quite a complicated & harsh world out there actually. Just recently, I heard about somethings that was going around and I was quite amazed and upset at the same time. I thought people would be happy but i guess it turns out to be jealousy. Or maybe its just that I am the reason and that is it.

No matter what i will still stay on. I have done nothing wrong, and acussing me for things i did not do is not going to help at all. I trust the person I am with and I know that he trusts me too. There will be problems which arises but i know that we will face those problems and stand strong still.

I am not going to talk about other people or make it an issue but things are different a long time ago already and it will still stay the same. Cause its hard to trust and see those people I loved or held close to my heart in the same way.

As the New Year has started, I have come to my senses and learnt many things. I am moulding myself to the current situation and I know its a growing process for me too. Its so early that I have already embarked on a journey. I guess it will be an interesting and challenging journey i forsee.

Anyway, enjoy the pictures that i have uploaded. I guess it has been really quite a while since i took as many pics compared to the month of December. I guess its just the festive season. Ok I hope everyone is having a blast from the New Year. All the best and God bless always. =)

lilBeautifulangel8:52 PM

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Farmer & Sons.

Farmer John has three sons. One day his oldest comes to him and pleads with him that now that he is graduating from school he would really like to get a car. His father says, "Son, come with me!" He takes him to the barn and points to the farm tractor and says, "This tractor is needed for the farm and I promise, as soon as it's paid for, we'll get you a car." The boy was not too happy but he understood and said, "Ok, Dad." A week later his second son, (10 yr. old), approaches him wanting a new two wheel bike. Well, he gets the same excuse "....as soon as the tractor is paid for...." Shortly after that his youngest is bugging him for a tricycle. Again, old dad gives him the lecture about the tractor needing to be paid off first. While leaving the barn, the young boy, a little disgusted with the whole thing, sees the rooster mating with one of the hens, and promptly goes over and kicks the rooster off the hens back, mumbling to himself. His dad says, standing near by says, "Son, why would you do something like that? He didn't do anything to you to deserve that." The little boy says "Hey, nobody rides anything around here until that damn tractor is paid off!!!"

lilBeautifulangel8:21 PM

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Thursday, January 03, 2008