~beautifulangel~ People who are meant to be together, ALWAYS find their way in the end!!

~BeautifulAngel~

zero5 october `86
21 years old
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SCAC Cerebral Palsy Center
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Tuesday, September 29, 2009

Why must it be like that???

I miss home so much, but when I come home, I end up being in the middle of a lot of things!! Why cant things be more simplier?? I really hate being in the middle of anything, or the reason for things to happen!!

Anyway, yesterday I consulted the chinese physician for my sprained neck. Wah the massage was super good la..She cracked my neck and back all. I am still in pain but at least I can turn my head and all better now.

One night away from you, and I am missing you terribly already. Oh my, what have you done to me?? But I love this feeling, and I love you!!

lilBeautifulangel7:01 PM

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Sunday, September 27, 2009

Neck hurting so badly...

Yesterday was my niece's pink b'day party and it was awesome! Although I was suffering from a sprained neck and back, but I still managed to enjoy myself. She is really so cute and an angel sent from Heaven. She can be really naughty as well. She was so beautiful in her pretty pink dress.

I felt so deprived of my childhood, cause there was the bouncing castle at the chalet for the kids and non of the kids wanted to play on it at first. So the adults who had deprived childhood as well, started to play with it. It was super FUN then I hurt my neck more.

It is really nice to have kids party. I cant wait to have one on my own, but I still can wait. Patiently waiting for that day to come. =)

Sometimes, I feel like I am doing so much for people and not get anything in return. I am not asking for a lot of stuff, and I do not mean material things. I mean love, care and concern. I know you show it, but sometimes it would be nice to pamper me once in a while. I am always giving in and doing quite a lot of things. I just wish I can get back some of it as well.

Anyway, today is another celebration and family gathering and I am so looking forward to it. Will update soon. =)

lilBeautifulangel9:21 AM

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Thursday, September 24, 2009

Glad to be back at work!!

I was so glad to be back at work today!! It felt so good, I was missing the kids so much and also my colleagues. =) They are a great part of my life actually. The past 2 days I was at home on MC, as I was super sick with high fever and vomiting. I am feeling much better though.

I was really so glad that I was back at work and having my kids around me, rather than to sit at home and waste my time away with boredom!! These kids just really kisses all those pain away, and somehow makes me feel so much better.

Tomorrow I have quite a bit of work to finish the new look to my class. I am very happy with the changes i have done to my class. I am very proud of myself =)

I am heading to bed now. Good night all =)

lilBeautifulangel9:38 PM

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Wednesday, September 23, 2009

What do people want from you??

I feel people expect so much from you and at times you have nothing to give. They think so highly of you and when you cant provide, they start to say stuff and make you doubt yourself. Why cant things just be so simple and easy, where you dont have to think so much and wonder what others might think of you?

BUT then again, this world is cruel and it does not function like that. As time goes by, the world is becoming more intense and it feels so different from when we were a child. Its like someone came in and changed the whole system, or is it cause we are adults now the world seem so alien to us compared to our childhood?

Where did the carefreeness went to? Where did the freedom of speech and actions gone to? Its sad, but then again its life! We just have to suck thumb and live on. Go through with all the pain and hopefully learn something out of it.

I've stopped depending on people so much cause I know when I do, I get hurt and upset in the end. So I depend on my ownself, in this way I will only get upset and blame myself if anything goes wrong. And I know I will work harder to do well. So that's what I've learnt in life; not to depend on anyone but myself!

lilBeautifulangel9:04 AM

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Tuesday, September 22, 2009

A well Deserved Trip

on the ATV

john's version of honeymoon.


the bath tub is super nice =)


the cozy area

our pretty king sized bed.


heading back home


my shooting score sheet

my turn to shoot

suiting up for paintball

It was a well-deserved weekend away from the normal routine & mundane life of ours. It was filled with fun, activities, alcohol (i didnt drink though) and madness must I add.
Baby & myself rushed back from work on Thursday and made it to the Airport. We took Tiger Airways at 7.55pm and flew to Phuket. This is my second flight experience in my life. The turbulance was quite bad but we still survived. When we reached Phuket, there was a guy waiting for us, to fetch us to the hotel. It was a 1 hour ride to the hotel, and both of us slept in the car.
Upon arrival at the hotel, we checked in and the room was awwww-some!! We stayed over Kata Palm Resort. We put our bags down, and headed over to my cousin's room. We then headed for dinner (Supper actually) at a nearby restaurant. After that, we headed back to the hotel and then the alcohol began. It was great fun, we played drinking games and the madness just flowed out.
On friday, we had breakfast at the hotel and then headed over to have more FUN!!! First we played paintball. It was my first time playing the paintball, and it was super fun. I didnt even get shot once. Then we rode the ATV and it was freaking fun! It was my first time as well, and it was fun. I don't think I would ever have the opportunity to ride that. We went through mud puddles and water and slopes. After that, I shot a 9mm pistol and it was scary but AWWW-SOME!!! I just wanted to feel how baby feels everytime that he shoots at work. Then some of them played go-kart while I stood aside taking pictures!!
We had late lunch at a place near the sea and then headed back to the hotel. I went for a facial and the guys went for a swim. After that, we headed to Patong to have dinner and visited the Night life over there. I realised that Patong was hit by Tsunami and was very affected by it. I could just imagine how it felt. And I was thinking how it has changed so much after it was hit. Anw after dinner, we went over to Rock City, the band that we saw was horrible!! Then we left and went to see other places. In the end, we just headed back to the hotel and slept.
On Saturday, we had breakfast then went over to the beach. Baby & Dwayne had a jet ski ride. I could see that baby enjoyed so much and I was so happy for him. Then we came back and I went for my massage while baby enjoyed a swim in the pool. We then got ready and went to Patong again for shopping. We bought a few things, we didnt find whatever that we wanted to get. Oh oh.. I had this grilled corn and it was so good!! I always wanted to try one of it. When we came back to the hotel, the guys went over to Dwayne's room to drink. I stayed in my room and watched tv.
We had to wake up early in the morning to catch our ride to the hotel. Then the police came to the hotel and wanted us to pay for the damage to the bike. It was super funny la!! Anyway we managed to get to the airport in time. We were all so tired and tried to sleep in the aeroplane.
I was glad to be home, but also sad to leave. Overall it was an awww-some getaway. And I loved every single minute of it. It was my first trip away with baby and I am glad we did it. I am planning something else for just the two of us.


lilBeautifulangel1:33 PM

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Saturday, September 12, 2009

"Through humor, you can soften some of the worst blows that life delivers. And once you find laughter, no matter how painful your situation might be, you can survive it." -Bill Cosby

lilBeautifulangel3:34 PM

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Wednesday, September 02, 2009

What you sow, is what you will reap!

You do not become a son, daughter, mother, father, son-in-law, daughter-in-law, friend or whatever overnight!! If you wanna be that status, you be that through out and not just suddenly!

Some people think that they can just be a caring and loving person overnight! How does this work? You cant just buy love or status just with money or SUDDEN affection!

I just cant understand this at all! Talk is real cheap you know! Maybe you should walk the talk eh?? Try to look yourself in the mirror and then talk.

lilBeautifulangel9:41 PM

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Bipolar Disorder

What is bipolar disorder?

Bipolar disorder (also known as manic depression) causes serious shifts in a person’s mood, energy, thinking, and behavior – from the highs of mania on one extreme, to the lows of depression on the other. More than just a fleeting good or bad mood, the cycles of bipolar disorder last for days, weeks, or months. And unlike ordinary mood swings, the mood changes of bipolar disorder are so intense that they interfere with your ability to function.

During a manic episode, a person might impulsively quit a job, charge up huge amounts on credit cards, or feel rested after sleeping two hours. During a depressive episode, the same person might be too tired to get out of bed and full of self-loathing and hopelessness over being unemployed and in debt.

Myths and Facts About Bipolar Disorder

Myth: People with bipolar disorder can’t get better or lead a normal life.

Fact: Many people with bipolar disorder have successful careers, happy family lives, and satisfying relationships. Living with bipolar disorder is challenging. But with treatment, healthy coping skills, and a solid support system, you can live fully while managing your symptoms.

Myth: People with bipolar disorder swing back and forth between mania and depression.

Fact: Some people alternate between extreme episodes of mania and depression, but most are depressed more often than they are manic. Mania may also be so mild that it goes unrecognized. People with bipolar disorder can also go for long stretches without symptoms.

MYTH: Bipolar disorder only affects mood.

Fact: Bipolar disorder also affects your energy level, judgment, memory, concentration, appetite, sleep patterns, sex drive, and self-esteem. Additionally, bipolar disorder has been linked to anxiety, substance abuse, and health problems such as diabetes, heart disease, migraines, and high blood pressure.

MYTH: Aside from taking medication, there is nothing you can do to control bipolar disorder.

Fact: While medication is the foundation of bipolar disorder treatment, therapy and self-help strategies also play important roles. You can help control your symptoms by exercising regularly, getting enough sleep, eating right, monitoring your moods, keeping stress to a minimum, and surrounding yourself with supportive people.

Signs and symptoms of bipolar disorder

The symptoms of bipolar disorder vary widely from person to person, with unpredictable differences in their pattern, severity, and frequency. Some people are more prone to either mania or depression, while others alternate equally between the two types of episodes. Some have frequent mood disruptions, while others experience only a few over a lifetime.

The four types of mood episodes (Mania, Hypomania, Depression, Mixed episode) each has a unique set of symptoms.
Signs and symptoms of mania

In the manic phase of bipolar disorder, feelings of heightened energy, creativity, and euphoria are common. People experiencing a manic episode often talk a mile a minute, sleep very little, and are hyperactive. They may also feel like they’re all-powerful, invincible, or destined for greatness.

But while mania feels good at first, it has a tendency to spiral out of control. People often behave recklessly during a manic episode­: gambling away savings, engaging in inappropriate sexual activity, or making foolish business investments, for example. They may also become angry, irritable, and aggressive – picking fights, lashing out when others don’t go along with their plans, and blaming anyone who criticizes their behavior. Some people even become delusional or start hearing voices.

Common signs and symptoms of mania include:

* Feeling unusually “high” and optimistic OR extremely irritable
* Unrealistic, grandiose beliefs about one’s abilities or powers
* Sleeping very little, but feeling extremely energetic
* Talking so rapidly that others can’t keep up
* Racing thoughts; jumping quickly from one idea to the next
* Highly distractible, unable to concentrate
* Impaired judgment and impulsiveness
* Acting recklessly without thinking about the consequences
* Delusions and hallucinations (in severe cases)


Hypomania symptoms

Hypomania is a less severe form of mania. People in a hypomanic state feel euphoric, energetic, and productive, but they are able to carry on with their day-to-day lives and they never lose touch with reality. To others, it may seem as if people with hypomania are merely in an unusually good mood. However, hypomania can result in bad decisions that harm relationships, careers, and reputations. In addition, hypomania often escalates to full-blown mania or is followed by a major depressive episode.

Signs and symptoms of bipolar depression

In the past, bipolar depression was lumped in with regular depression. But a growing body of research suggests that there are significant differences between the two, especially when it comes to recommended treatments. Most people with bipolar depression are not helped by antidepressants. In fact, there is a risk that antidepressants can make bipolar disorder worse – triggering mania or hypomania, causing rapid cycling between mood states, or interfering with other mood stabilizing drugs.

Despite many similarities, certain symptoms are more common in bipolar depression than in regular depression. For example, bipolar depression is more likely to involve irritability, guilt, unpredictable mood swings, and feelings of restlessness. People with bipolar depression also tend to move and speak slowly, sleep a lot, and gain weight. In addition, they are more likely to develop psychotic depression – a condition in which they’ve lost contact with reality – and to experience major disability in work and social functioning.

Common symptoms of bipolar depression include:

* Feeling hopeless, sad, or empty.
* Irritability
* Inability to experience pleasure
* Fatigue or loss of energy
* Physical and mental sluggishness
* Appetite or weight changes
* Sleep problems
* Concentration and memory problems
* Feelings of worthlessness or guilt
* Thoughts of death or suicide

Signs and symptoms of a mixed episode

A mixed episode of bipolar disorder features symptoms of both mania or hypomania and depression. Common signs of a mixed episode include depression combined with agitation, irritability, anxiety, insomnia, distractibility, and racing thoughts. This combination of high energy and low mood makes for a particularly high risk of suicide.
The different faces of bipolar disorder

* Bipolar I Disorder (mania or a mixed episode) – The classic manic-depressive form of the illness, characterized by at least one manic episode or mixed episode. Usually—but not always—Bipolar I Disorder also involves at least one episode of depression.

* Bipolar II Disorder (hypomania and depression) – In Bipolar II disorder, the person doesn’t experience full-blown manic episodes. Instead, the illness involves episodes of hypomania and severe depression.

* Cyclothymia (hypomania and mild depression) – Cyclothymia is a milder form of bipolar disorder. It consists of cyclical mood swings. However, the symptoms are less severe than full-blown mania or
depression.

Treatment for bipolar disorder

If you spot the symptoms of bipolar depression in yourself or someone else, don’t wait to get help. Ignoring the problem won’t make it go away; in fact, it will almost certainly get worse. Living with untreated bipolar disorder can lead to problems in everything from your career to your relationships to your health. Diagnosing the problem as early as possible and getting into treatment can help prevent these complications.

If you’re reluctant to seek treatment because you like the way you feel when you’re manic, remember that the energy and euphoria come with a price. Mania and hypomania often turn destructive, hurting you and the people around you.

lilBeautifulangel12:37 PM

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