I sit here in my bed, thinking of all our happy times together. I miss all of those times where we were just carefree and being who we really are. I miss all our open talks where we do not need to think if we are saying something wrong or if people would think differently.

Now, things have changed quite a bit and I really don't know if it's ever going to be back the same. I just know that we need to work hard to make this work and so everything to keep this alive. Am I the only one who is feeling like such?? I really dont know but I don't think anyone knows what is going through this head of mine.

I really hope I straighten up thoughts out before it's too late. I really hope I get things in place so that future will look good and happy. Cause tts what I want, to be happy and in love. Which I am now!!

Thank you so much for always being there for me. I love you always and that will never change. Muacks =)

You will always be in my thoughts. I need to sacrifice certain things in life!!


~beautifulangel~

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Sunday, November 08, 2009

Falling even deeper underground

I feel like I'm falling deeper n deeper in the ground. I really don't know how to express my feelings anymore. I feel like i'm stuck and you just want to change that immediately. You wanna keep changing me and you keep judging me.

I really don't know what works for you. Anything I do is either wrong or just not good enough for you. What else am I supposed to do?? I try BUT you just keep pushing me down even more! Now I'm too tired to even pick myself up.

You talk about future and all, I have feelings too. You talk I listen but when it comes to the other way round, things r just different!! I do not know what is happening anymore.

lilBeautifulangel1:15 PM

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Saturday, November 07, 2009

Please have confidence in me!

I wish you have more confidence in me. Please stop breathing down my neck and telling me how its to be done! Do not measure things and say things which will hurt! Cause it really does hurt! I really wish things can be better!!

lilBeautifulangel10:05 PM

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How easy??

Is it easy to fall out of love? Is it possible that just by one mistake everything falls apart? Why is it so hard for the heart to forgive? How can the heart just fall out of love? How can the heart stop having the will power to fight for what is right?

When you are on that road or you know a friend who is going through such a situation, all these questions clog ya mind. Why this and how come that and what if...Why cant it be simple? Why cant things just fall in place right?

There is loads of things on my mind. One after another it just happens. I have a friend who is in this situation as well and I am trying my best to help their relationship. I wish things could be easier. I wish people can back in time and do/say things right and not have to go through the same shitty road again.

How do you choose? Or should you even choose? Is it all happening cause of commitment issues? Afraid of something? Sometimes people cannot say everything that they feel inside, not even to their best friends. It hurts, but I guess they are afraid of how people will see them.

I am really thinking of ways to help my friend, so that they can have a better relationship. Cause a friend once told me, there is no end if its not a happy ending. =)

lilBeautifulangel1:38 AM

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Monday, November 02, 2009

I am all over the place..

My emotions are all over the place. I don't know what to express anymore. I think too much is coming out now and everyone sees right through.

Sometimes when things are done or said it's so difficult to just forget about it and move on. You may forgive but it will always stay within as it's part of your life already. It's really so difficult not to think of what you are thinking as you sit beside me.

How are we supposed to get pass this? How are we supposed to get back to normal? I really am trying so hard. I wish we can see pass all of this.

lilBeautifulangel8:43 PM

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=)

thank you

=)

lilBeautifulangel7:06 PM

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