~beautifulangel~ People who are meant to be together, ALWAYS find their way in the end!!

i tried quite a few things, but the pain just subsides a while, and then it hits you like a bitch once again! OUCH!! things will sure never be the same ever again! it will just haunt me day n night. i just screwed up big time! and I know i will never be able to take that back!

i dont know what to do. am i supposed to be forgiven, or am i supposed to suffer in silence like this? i guess suffering in silence is so much better. i know people will judge and all by now, but I really dun give two cents for their comments or point of view. i know what i did and i dun need anyone telling me anything.

my head is throbbing so badly, from all the thinking and shouting from within. and i am running out of medication. i need to get more soon! this pain is going to stay for quite some time i suppose. on the other hand, i am so used to this pain already.

i just cannot sit here and wait for things to happen. i need to get out there and do some stuff. i need to make things work and get myself occupied. i wanna do things that i could not do, spend more time with my family. (i really miss them so much) visit places and all...sigh!! i dun know. i really dun know!!

how much I try, it still just hurts so bad!!