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Saturday, May 31, 2008 I am missing you far beyond imagination.The day had arrived where, you have to take that boat and sailed to another island. A place where you will be without me and me without you. The days where I have to try to go through with it without your presence and touch. I was all good until I had to wave goodbye to you at the departure gate. I felt an aching feeling in my chest and could not distinguish it. I pulled through and headed back home. Then comes the first night where I have to sleep without you, I felt I could not breathe, I felt so scared. It brought tears to my eyes and I did not know what to do so I turned to you, over the phone. Soon after I felt much better, and it put me to sleep. I struggled for another 2 more days anticipating your arrival back into my arms. I was already sick before you left, and now I am even worse. Maybe its due to the lack of presence that I've become worse but no worries. The days were long and I could not do anything except to wait for time to pass by and sat to come. At LAST, its sat and my baby will be returning!! I was so anxious since morning and tried to sleep the morning and early afternoon off, in order to get time to pass faster. And it did!! I headed to Tanah Merah Ferry Terminal and was waiting for baby quite long. (time diference) When he came out of the Arrival hall, I was super super happy!! Now, I have him in my arms and I can hold and smell him for another 2 weeks before he leaves me and heads to Taiwan! Sigh this time it will be longer, 2 weeks. Don't know how I will get through that!! Anyway, I will make the best of the time I have now! I love my baby so much!!! If I'm gonna live in the moment, I wanna live in it with you!! Labels: Pictures Nithya's 21st B'day Party PicsWednesday, May 28, 2008 How did I get here?I was looking through my post from 2006 and I noticed how much I have grown, and how much I've gone through. There are so many things that we've said and meant and that time, but now I wonder if we did mean what we said then. Was it all just words or did we mean every single word? I guess I have moved on a long time ago. I know I have said and done things which upsetted people around me, but there is no turning back. I am not sure if you have moved on, but I wish the best for you. There are moments in our lives when we find ourselves at a crossroad, afraid, confused, without a roadmap. The choices we make in those moments can define the rest of our days. Of course when faced with the unknown, most of us prefer to turn around and go back. Just follow your heart. If you feel that it is where you wanna go, then just go. Do not hold back and cramp it all up. Spread your wings and fly. Truth is still absolute. Believe that. Even when that truth is hard and cold, and more painful than you've ever imagined. And even when truth is more cruel than any lie. There comes a time when every life goes off course. In this desperate moment you must choose your direction. Will you fight to stay on the path while others tell you who you are? Or will you label yourself? Will you be honored by your choice? Or will you embrace your new path? Each morning you choose to move forward or to simply give up. Labels: Pictures Tuesday, May 27, 2008 People are heartless!!Yesterday I was just switching channels and found a nice prog on Central. It was Human Stories- Small Kids, about dwarfism. I am interested in watching these kind of progs. While I was watching, I was moved to tears and was quite upset too. There was this boy who was only abt 18 months old diagnosed with that syndrome and he was at the mall with his mum, when a boy his age (normal developing) went up to him and shouted 'Im bigger than you. Hah!!'. I was so pissed with that boy and tears started to roll down my eyes. How can people be so cruel and do these sort of stuff. Before I had already a soft spot for people with special needs, now working in SCAS I am softer as I can understand them better cause I work closely with them meeting them everyday at work. I just wish people can be a little more sensitive to these people and a little more supportive too. I know each and everyone of us are different in looking at situations like this, but don't we all have a soft spot in each one of us?Don't we all have a little human feelings? I am really so disappointed. I just do not know what to say. Please try to be a little more sensitive to these people. Sunday, May 25, 2008 Forever scares alot of us!!In life, people do get scared. Its how you deal with the situations. Most people are stronger than they know. They just forget to believe in it sometimes. They forget to believe in themselves sometimes and everything will seem even more scary. There are so many trials that we have to face and we have to fall down in order to pick ourselves up. We have to make mistakes in order to learn from it. And it is NORMAL for people to make mistakes, no one is ever perfect. We see things in so many different perspective that at times, it may be in conflict with someone else. But no two person can ever think, feel or like the same exact thing too. So we just have to accept each and everyone single one out there. People act and react differently to different people. And it is not fair to that person if we judge them based on what we hear or see, cause when you get to know that person personally, he/she might be totally different. Give everyone a chance, the benefit if a doubt. But, I understand if after that chance and the person somewhat screws it up, its up to you what you decide. Cause I have been through that so many times, trying to befriend and when I knew what the person's character and intentions are, I change my mind and mind my own business. Don't be too fat, or too thin, or too dark, or too light; don't be too sexual, or too chaste, or too smart, or too dumb. Be yourself. But make sure you fit in. People tend to try as much as possible to fit into different cliques. Some do not even need to do that as it comes so naturally for them. It is good to have different cliques and not just one where you depend on for everything. But it is good to have a group who will stick by you through it all. Its true friends who will stick with you through the good times and the bad. The important thing is not to be bitter over life's disappointments. Learn to let go of the past, and recognize that every day won't be sunny. And when you find yourself lost in the darkness of despair, remember, it's only in the black of night that you see the stars, and those stars lead you back home. Friday, May 23, 2008 Can we make up our own minds?Choosing the right path is never easy, its a decision we make with only our hearts to guide us. But sometimes we find our way to something better. Sometimes we fight through the regret and remorse for our mistakes. Our males and our jealousy craving for the people we were meant to be. And that's when we find our way to something better or when something better finds its way to us. Its hard to predict where our heart lies and how it ended up there. When you think back, which you may never be able to also, does not seem logical or real to you. We cannot control much of how our heart goes about. Its like it has a mind of its own, and no matter how strong you are, you may never force your heart to do something. How much we deny and fight the feeling, it still comes to us. At times we cannot make up our minds where our heart lies. Cause its a mixed up feeling and you wish what you are thinking is true rather than what your heart was feeling. Labels: Pictures Monday, May 19, 2008 Take A Walk Down Memory Lane!!Trip To Amk NTUC. Thanks to Starhub for their generous sponsership. My favourite kid. Red house won the sports meet. I was just fooling around and using the kids sunglasses. This boy is super cute!!But he is leaving the center alr. Never fails to make me smile. Caian Boy and myself, before my cousin's b'day. E!!Hub His smiles are enough to kill you! Swensens with my girlies!! Labels: Pictures Thursday, May 15, 2008 The things that I never realised.Someone once said: "Its the good girls that keep diaries. The bad girls never had the time. Me, I just wanna live a life I'm gonna remember even if I don't write it down." There is so much we can learn in our everyday life, so much we can do to help others. So much time used in unnecessay ways. But what do we do instead? I never realised many things before and I never thought it would be important to me in life. Now, I realise that I have lost out on so many things which I could have learnt long before. Nontheless, its never too late to learn it now. I had so many wonderful memories, so many beautiful places, many childhood memories. At times, I cant remember some of them, feeling its so far away and I think that it may not be real. I rely on photographs to keep track of the things that I went through and the events/ocassions. I wanna remember all the good times, to cheer me up and all the bad times to make me learn from my mistakes. I want to see things from a better perspective, a broader picture. I want to dream of all the things I wanna be and with the one I love the most. I want to sit here and smile at all the accomplishments that I have made. I want to be happy for those I love so much and for myself too. I want it all and I want it good. Wednesday, May 14, 2008 Time managementKahlil Gibran once wrote: "Your reason and your passion are your rudder and sails of your seafaring soul. If either be broken, you could but toss and drift or else be held at a standstill amid seas. For reason, running alone, is a force confining. And passion, unattended, is a flame that burns to its own destruction." This relationship has taught me a great deal and I am not saying that the past year had been perfect, not one relationship can be perfect. Its the imperfection that helps us learn and grow together. And that is how I've grown so much in many ways. The problems we face and how we resolve them so much different. I have been so busy with work that I hardly have time to go out and have some fun. But I think its a learning road for me and I guess I am going to be fine. I am trying so much to mange my time and it feels good actually. I am just having alot of support from baby and it means a whole deal to me. Im happy period. There is nothing that will make me change my mind. |
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