~BeautifulAngel~

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Utterly Disappointed In Myself.

today is the day.
06/06/06.
i have been waiting for this day for about 6 months or so.
anw for those who are wondering whats up with this date,
its my traffic police test.
anw i could not sleep well cause i kept thinking about the test and was really damn nervous.
many ppl wished me luck for my test.
but it did not give me any more confidence.
i still feel i could do it.
my heart was so painful and i had butterflies in my tummy.
i hate this feeling so much.
arghh.
anw just to cut the story short!!
i FAILED!!
damn disappointed with myself.
actually it was cause of the motorcycle in bbdc itself and my own self la.
sigh.
i was very sad at first.
i called baby and i was in tears.
i felt so useless,
cause i knew i could do it.
anw i kinda screwed it all up.
i was so nervous that i even din do well in my warm up.
aiyah if i was only calm and could think straight.
but its ok.
mummy and daddy was telling me not to worry and ask me to try again.
after some time i got over it.
this felt worse than doing a major exam.

after my test,
i went home first.
then i met baby to eat and went to sch.
baby sent me 1/4 of the way and it started to rain.
so i took a cab to sch.
the weather was so damn shiok.
during class my eyes were just closing on its own,
cause i only had less than 3 hours of slp for the whole day.
after my first lesson,
ziwen gave me something to wish me good luck.
but she thought that my test was in the afternoon and din know it was in the morning.
but its still so swt thanks gal.
i somehow struggled through my classes and headed home.

i slept for abt 2 hours and then went to meet baby.
we went to his aunt's place and ate crab.
i've have been eating crab for the past 2 days and today is the 3rd.
damn nice sia.
shawn's granduncle made the crab.
its so delicious.
yum yum.
dun worry my gals i will still go n eat wid u all.
anw after that i came home and did my part of the project.
a little of the project only.
i also booked my next tp date alr.
(thanks kavi for putting money in my bbdc acc)
my next test is on the 4th sept 2006.
another 3 months.
i really pray i can pass that at least,
so that i dun have to waste some more money.

my family was so supportive and urged me to take again.
they din mock me or watso ever.
i am so happy i have a family that i can reply on so much.
baby was so cute also.
he kept hugging me and telling that he still loves me although i failed.
i love him so much.
thanks baby and my family so much.
i really needed the assurance and support.
i love u all.

anw i have so many things that i have to do and i am so stressed.
i have to finalise my subject web so that i can do my lesson plans.
i have to come up wid activities to put in the learning corner (have some alr actually).
have to think abt my driving.
have other projects to worry about.
a test this fri.
i dun know how i can manage all this.
i really pray that HE gives me the strength to do all this.

i am looking forward to this friday.
i am going to meet my sec sch friends.
yay!!
its a bbq at east coast.
so happy.
cant wait.
baby still cant confirm if he can come.
he might have guard duty.
sigh.
missing all my sec sch friends.
love u all.
maucks.

although i was disappointed in myself for my failure,
i am going to try again and give it my all.
i am not going to give up.
i have come this far and not going to back out last min.
thanks to all who have brightened up my spirits today.
thanks alot.
really appreciate it alot.
anw today's clouds look the same as yesterday.
like some kind of 3D effect.
really amazing and nice.
cant explaing in words.



ziwen made this for me.
thanks alot gal.
its so sweet.