You have to do your own growing no matter how tall your grandfather was. Abraham Lincoln
you cannot keep depending on people every single time. you have to stand on your own at times and grow independently. that is how you learn. i know its nice to have people around you and all, but you need to stand on your own two feet at times. cause there will be a day when you are stranded and all by yaself. so where are those people going to come??
Happy Birthday J.Boy. Now you are an adult. Hope All Your Wishes And Dreams Come True. God Bless You Always. And Thanks For Being My Friend For 16 Years. Love You Loads. headed to the market with the white boy. then we had macs for breakfast. then played with angel a while. tomorrow my mum will start to look after that lil one. she is very smart now. had my wonderful afternoon nap. actually i did not sleep well in the night. woke up and had a very late lunch. headed to vivo city to play at the fountain. but i totally forgot that its a public holiday and there were so many people over there. but i still had fun though. saw the sky and it was beautiful. i just keep seeing beautiful things and i am in love with it all.
thanks baby for the wonderful day. love u loads. muacks.
[b e a u t i f u l a n g e l]
Come out of the circle of time, and into the circle of love. Rumi
its such a good feeling to be in love. despite the barriers that you have to face, love is still a wonderful feeling. and it just grows stronger with all the obstacles completed.
i went to get some stuff for the phone that i am using currently and a bed for baby. then i went over to vivo city to meet my dear friend esther to get her wedding invitation. i am glad that i could meet her after so long. she is getting married on the 5th. and i am really very happy for her. i headed home after that and waited for baby to come to my house.
i enjoyed every moment i spend with him. thank you so much for everything dada. you make me so happy. i love u. great night i had with you.
[b e a u t i f u l a n g e l]
- Tuesday, May 29, 2007 `x
Never go to a doctor whose office plants have died.
Erma Bombeck
can you imagine if go to a doctor who does not even take care of his own plants, how do you expect him to treat you? think about it. its the same as you teaching your kids personal hygiene when you cannot even have proper basic hygiene.
had to make some harsh decisions today. that particular person is not making my life any easier. i gave him a lot of chances and even put myself in his damn shoes. but this is what i get in return. you just find a way to piss me off when i am nice to you. and now you are asking me why am i so bad to you?? dude are you listening to what you are talking about?? i have given you far too much chances and allowing you to give me back my stuff and settling ya bill. you leave me with no choice. you are just showing me how immature and irresponsible you are. after this friday, its through between us. yes, we may be friends but i am giving that up too. you really disappoint me too much already and actually did more than that.
thank you for loving me so much and taking care of me. your presence means a lot to me. and i am really glad. the way you comfort me with your words, giving me new strength and growing love for you. you make me see things is so many different ways. and i am loving you even more for that. you give me joy and laughter that i have missed out for a very long time. thank you so much. i love you with all my heart and i will do anything that will hurt what we have. and i pray everyday for everything to go smoothly. even when we face with problems, i pray we will have the strength to overcome it together and be stronger.
the birthday boy and his family.
me and my baby. jacq had to take a pic when we were eating.
for more photos go to my yahoo photos. cause i did not upload all the pics.. too many. anw you shld go check out the 2 month anniversary folder cause the sun set is splendid.
Never tell people how to do things. Tell them what to do and they will surprise you with their ingenuity. General George S. Patton
you know sometimes how much you tell a person what to do, they never seem to get it. even if you try indirectly or directly too. why is it so hard to understand?? sometimes i feel that i have to be so harsh on people for them to really understand or even hear me out!! but when i do that, i will just be the bad person who i really do not want to be.
Happy Birthday Kirsty. May God Bless You In Ya Big Step Into The First 2. All The Best In Everything You Do.
headed to my baby's house. just feel like seeing him and also the phone that i borrowed to use was dying. so i had to go charge. i was just finding an excuse to run away from the problems. and he also wanted to go see the pasir ris house and all. so i tagged along and followed sister and mike. after that we went to tampines mall and watched the movie i so wanted to watch. Pirates of the Caribbean. ooo so nice. although it seem a little weird the ending but its true love. and johnny depp is cute!! haha and i agree with you deepa. after that its heading home and bitching on the way to the bf.
i wonder what it would be like if i had not found you. i wonder how i would feel. i wonder how i would actually look at you. but i dun have to wonder anymore, cause i have you in my arms and thats all that matters now. people might think this is too fast or stupid or what so ever. BUT i think its just wonderful and almost perfect. anyway the words you said to me today and you wanting to protect me, means so much to me. i really love you with all my heart. and i will miss you so much when you head for your competition end of this year. i want to make beautiful memories with you now and forever. cause you mean a lot to me to loose you in anyway. and i never want that to happen. i love you sean anthony wales. always and forever.
[b e a u t i f u l a n g e l]
- Monday, May 28, 2007 `x
Friday
We must remain as close to the flowers, the grass, and the butterflies as the child is who is not yet so much taller than they are. Friedrich Nietzsche
sometimes i want to hold on to so many things.i just wish it was all the same as before.but things never seem to,i guess this is what they call life and it carries on be it good or bad.so for now all i can do is hold on to the wonderful and good memories and throw away the bad ones.although i know the bad ones have taught me lessons and how to lead a better life,i still cannot hold on to it but just the lessons learnt.and i just carry on with my life.
at last i got out of my house.was staying at home the whole week.not that i am grounded or forced to stay at home.i was just plain lazy to leave the house and was watching my one tree hill everyday.yes i know i am so crazy.but what else do i have to do.did a few stuff and met 2 of my guy friends.after so long i sat on a bike again.feels scary though.haha.went shopping.bought a few tops at this fashion.pampered myself and did my nails.while i was there,i already decided to surprise baby by going over but it was not much of a surprise after all.cause i told him abt it.anw went back and things did not seem good.i headed to baby's house.ate dinner, watched tv and went to bed.was too tired to stay up any longer.
Saturday
People are like stained glass windows: they sparkle and shine when the sun's out, but when the darkness sets in, their true beauty is revealed only if there is light within. Elizabeth Kubler-Ross
when its all blissful and everything,people are very different.the true character shows when its time of sorrows and hardship.those who stand strong still and face the battle have the strength to carry on ahead.but those who break down and give it to everything is somehow weak and needs support.but it also shows that you are this person deep within but somehow in times of happiness its all a facade.
slept through the morning.ate fried rice that daddy made.yummylicious.slacked a while and then got ready to go for novena.met my second brother there.baby and i lied to him that he proposed to me to marry him.haha and after that when we told him certain other things he did not wanna believe us.let him wait and see.we headed to j.boy's 21st birthday party.he is my first and longest friend i have known.and also my childhood sweetheart.i am glad that i could make it.did not stay long cause i was tired and also i was staying over at baby's place.headed home and watched tv a while.was feeling so uncomfortable as i felt ants were running everywhere.arghh hate that feeling so much.and i felt asleep in baby's arms like a lil baby.
Sunday
I'd rather be a failure at something I enjoy than a success at something I hate. George Burns
what is it that burns in ya heart for you to want more?? what is it that matters to you most? what makes you drive yaself all out? i will rather be doing something i really enjoy despite failing at it a couple of times, rather than doing something i hate and striving at it. cause i know i will just be doing it for the sake of doing and not for the love and passion of it. even though i fail, the love for it will make me want to strive harder to achieve and do well.
its so easy to love someone and say i love you. its harder to maintain the wonderful relationship and keep it alive. along the way obstacles are bound to obstruct ya way, but its how you deal with it together that will get through it. a relationship is not easy to maintain. feelings can change over time and be hurtful to know the truth. but its how you want to take it that matters most. and its how you want to fix it. to some people its very easy to shut others out of their lives and be isolated, but to some its very difficult. its the pain they feel within that makes them scared and holding on. but whats the point when everything is just so negative and not responsive? i understand that feeling. but i realised that i do not want to be that person. whats the point in feeling for someone who gives me probs and just makes my life worse? whats the point in loving that person when i am not loved back and being pushed away?? i move on and i've learnt to do that.
now i am happy. happy that i have found someone to love and be loved in return. the words you say matters to me. your touch matters to me. the way you treat me matters to me. and i have learnt that i mean more to you than i know. and i am glad that we have met. thank you so much.
[b e a u t i f u l a n g e l]
- Sunday, May 27, 2007 `x
A simple man tells how his booking an air ticket for his father, his first flight, brought emotions and made him realize that how much we all take for granted when it comes to our parents.
My parents left for our native place on Thursday and we went to the airport to see them off. In fact, my father had never traveled by air before, so I just took this opportunity to make him experience the same. In spite of being asked to book tickets by train, I got them tickets on Lufthansa.
The moment I handed over the tickets to him, he was surprised to see that I had booked them by air. The excitement was very apparent on his face, waiting for the time of travel. Just like a school boy, he was preparing himself on that day and we all went to the airport, right from using the trolley for his luggage, the baggage check-in and asking for window seat and waiting restlessly for the security check-in to happen. He was thoroughly enjoying himself and I, too, was overcome with joy watching him experience all these things.
As they were about to go in for the security check-in, he walked up to me with tears in his eyes and thanked me. He became very emotional and it was not as if I had done something great but the fact that this meant a great deal to him.
When he said thanks, I told him there was no need to thank me.
But later, thinking about the entire incident, I looked back at my life.
As a child how many dreams our parents have made come true. Without understanding the financial situation, we ask for football, dresses, toys, outings, etc. Irrespective of their affordability, they have satisfied to all our needs. Did we ever think about the sacrifices they had to make to accommodate many of our wishes and needs?
Did we ever say thanks for all that they have done for us?
Same way, today when it comes to our children, we always think that we should put them in a good school. Regardless of the amount of donation, we will ensure that we will have to give the child the best, theme parks, toys, etc. But we tend to forget that our parents have sacrificed a lot for our sake to see us happy, so it is our responsibility to ensure that their dreams are realized and what they failed to see when they were young, it is our responsibility to ensure that they experience all those and their life is complete.
Many times, when my parents had asked me some questions, I have actually answered back without patience. When my daughter asks me something, I have been very polite in answering. Now I realize how they would have felt at those moments.
Let us realize that old age is a second childhood and just as we take care of our children,the same attention and same care need to be given to our parents and elders.
Rather than my dad saying thank you to me, I would want to say sorry for making him wait so long for this small dream. I do realize how much he has sacrificed for my sake and I will do my best to give the best possible attention to all their wishes. Just because they are old does not mean that they will have to give up everything and keep sacrificing for their grandchildren also. They have wishes, too.
Let's Take care of our parents.
[b e a u t i f u l a n g e l]
- Friday, May 25, 2007 `x
The way I see it, if you want the rainbow, you gotta put up with the rain. Dolly Parton
if you want to achieve something, you have to put through with everything that comes ya way. for that bright day ahead, you have to go through all the weeping, sighs, heartaches and everything else. so are you ready for that journey?? if you are then you will sail pass through it all. just believe in yaself and have faith that you can pull through.
what is love to you?? can you explain what the word means to you? to me there are many different kinds of love. and its complicating cause its matters of the heart. but there is unspeakable joy and happiness that you receive from love. and its just so magical. i cannot describe the feeling. some people take it for granted but others keep it close to their hearts. when someone loves you, and love is not returned it hurts. you cannot force love. its a feeling that will come naturally. and when its forced, its not true love anymore. anyone can tell the words 'I Love You' but that does not mean the person really meant it. words are just words. but when you actually say those words and really mean it, they mean a lot to the other person. and that person will know when its true.
i am glad i have someone i can love and that person loving me back endlessly. meaning every word that we say. i am not saying that there are no probs in the way, but we chose to stay by each others side and go through it together. i am excited to go through life with you smelly. we will have our ups and downs but we will face it together. i love u baby. my one and only white boy. =)
[b e a u t i f u l a n g e l]
- Thursday, May 24, 2007 `x
Those who believe they can do something are probably right--and so are those who believe they can't. Unknown
it is what YOU believe that matters. who cares what others think or say?? cause in the end its what makes u happy that matters. so stop living for others and live for yaself. and start living for yaself. i have been doing that for quite some time already and it feels so damn good.
i was just slacking at home whole day. wanted to go do stuff but my leg started to ache and i decided not to. when i heard baby was booking out today, i wanted to go and surprise him but it did not turn out the way i wanted it to be. but i enjoyed myself so much still. it was filled with laughter and smiles. and i am so happy. thanks for making me laugh so much. the jokes, the walks, the drawing, your touch, everything else is all good baby. everything is going good and i am very happy. we will make this work and i know it. it just feels so different. i know it life it does not happen like a fairy tale, but i feel its somewhat like that. its just so much of happiness and joy. and i am glad its all with you. thank you so much my stinky. muacks.
[b e a u t i f u l a n g e l]
- Tuesday, May 22, 2007 `x
Every man has three characters: that which he shows, that which he has, and that which he thinks he has. Alphonse Karr
most men keep a lot of stuff to themselves. cause by showing their feelings or wat so ever, they think they are being weak somehow. but there are some who just LOVES to show off. i mean i hate it when they keep bragging and just going on about how good they look or what they are good at. i mean we girls do know that but you do not have to keep telling on n on n on. to me it seems like u so desperately want sorry NEED the attention in such a way. but it just annoys the crap out of me. so next time if you wanna talk to me, you would want to think again.
ok first of all i got the job at wesley child development center. and i start next friday on the first. i am so looking forward to it. from now on, i am going to search myself and see what i really wanna do with my life. i mean in career aspect. i know what i wanna do with my personal life already, it just will have to take some time. but career aspect i have to think carefully and decide.
you know i sit down here alone for the past 2 days and i realised im missing so many things and people. i miss going to school and hanging out with my girls. i miss laughing and talking to my girls. i miss my girls being there for me and vice versa. i miss the canteen food. i miss being a student. i miss assignments NOT!!! i miss making new friends whom i get close to. i miss everything about school. i miss my smelly who is in camp now. i miss him tickling and playing with me. i miss him annoying me. i miss his stupid jokes and expressions which never fail to make me laugh or at least smile. laughing out loud is a more proper way to say actually. arghh i just miss so many things and people in my life.
you know sometimes i do not take a step forward cause i am scared. i am scared that i might fall or loose someone. another reason is that i just do not have the courage to do so. cause i am afraid that someone might look down on me or say something that will crush my faith and enthusiasm. i never really got to do what i wanted without one of my family member saying something to demolish the faith i had. someone had to at least say something and i will go all sad about. i mean what are family for? sigh. that is one main reason why i am scared to try. i know that it is not a reason cause if i really wanted it, i should do it despite what others think and show them who i really am or what i am capable of. but at times its easier said that done. cause i have a little low self esteem. i know its hard to believe but its been built since young already. but i am fighting it.
this just came to my head and i just wanted to share it with you guys.
[b e a u t i f u l a n g e l]
Learn to pause ... or nothing worthwhile will catch up to you. Doug King
take ya time. go slow on things. you do not have to rush through ya life. make calm and proper decisions. do not make one that you will end up regretting. have a habit to reflect on things. it will do you good. i am doing a lot of that lately and it is definitely helping me to search the real me.
have you ever wondered what you will be or who you will end up with in future?? or have you wondered if you have made that particular decision how will that be?? or if you had not how would it turn out to be?? i have thought about all that so many times. but i know the decision that i have made long ago, i do not and never will regret it ever. cause it makes me happy. it shows me the person who i really wanna be. i get to explore my own self. and i have thought about what i would be if i did not make that decision and i do not think that i will be happy. cause somehow it will all fail and it will just not meant to be. i sat and thought about all that. as much as it hurts, i just had to make a right decision and i know that for me that was the right one. and i am certainly happy right now.
we have been talking so much lately. and you have made me realise the person who i really wanna be. you make me realise that i wanna spend my life with you. this is not just a decision i make cause i am in love or its the honeymood period. you just make me have butterflies in my tummy everytime i meet you. when you kiss me it just feels so good. how am i to describe everything that i feel for u? you make me a better person. you make me see a better future. you make me think ahead and see the bigger picture. and we may have our downfalls but we sure know how to talk things out. watching one tree hill has definitely made me realise a lot of stuff and feel a lot more than just normal. its hard to explain but i see the bigger picture. i see life in a diff light and perspective. i am just glad you are in my life. i am really glad i plucked up the courage and made the decision i made. cause without that, i would not be in your arms feeling this good and wanting to spend the rest of my life with you.
Just in time for the special day, Beliefnet members share their thoughts on what motherhood means to them.
Talking to Angeline "The other day, right after her nap I brought my 10 month old daughter outside. It was a perfect day - the sky was clear and there was a soft breeze blowing. We sat on our front lawn and I picked a dandelion for her.
I cannot tell you what peace I experienced in that moment. She clutched the little dandelion so tightly in her hand...I really felt sorry for the little weed. She examined it so closely, pulling at its golden petals, shifting it from hand to hand, holding it high above her head. We didn't talk. We listened, to the birds, the breeze, and the dandelion." --agarvey
More Inspired Mom Stories "My son's presence has changed my life for the good in so many ways since his birth (seven years ago). I look more closely at this world, its dangers, its beauties, its blessings. I look more closely at my own behavior and what it tells him. He is the greatest blessing of my life, no question." --ds202
"I rely on prayer and meditation to keep me going, to do what is necessary for his spiritual, physical and mental well-being. With my prayers I truly hope he grows up to be strong, healthy and a wise man who can and will make a difference in the world--for the better. In this way my birth into motherhood has been and continues to be a spiritual experience." --lorona
"I started labor as an atheist and ended labor believing in God! My son is nine years old and still the largest blessing in my life." --Mamakate
"Having a child is the greatest blessing I have ever received. Not only was it a blessing having my son, it was a savior. Before I had gotten pregnant, I was heavily into drugs. When I found out I was pregnant, I had stopped everything. From that day on, I had prayed everyday that my child not be harmed from the drugs and me. By the time I had my son, the feeling of wanting to get high had faded. Not to mention I had a perfectly healthy baby. He was 8lbs and 10oz. To this day, I know God was looking out for me. If I had never gotten pregnant, I will still be getting high or be dead. I have been blessed. Having my son has given me every reason to love, live, and be happy. And I want to give my son the best mommy." --daksa
[b e a u t i f u l a n g e l]
The Labors of Love
I didn't realized how much the pain of giving birth to my daughter would be worth it in the end. By Claire Simon Lasser
I'm not sure, but I'm almost certain, that I'm the first woman to give birth. At least that's how I felt last September, when Catlyne was born.
Even the word "daughter" fills me with the most enormous sense of pride. And though there are hundreds of thousands of daughters out there, I can't help feeling that I had the first "real" one. The truth of the matter is that an emotional door was opened that I never knew existed. However, you couldn't have convinced me of this during labor.
How come all women in my life who had so graciously shared countless stories about the titanic weight gain, heartburn, swollen feet, nausea and other charming side effects of pregnancy never got around to telling me about labor? If someone told me how much it was going to hurt, I could've backed out of the whole deal while there was still time.
The Lamaze class we snickered through suddenly became a priceless source of information when labor began...I knew what kind of anesthetics to ask for (or demand in this case), which I did ask (demand) for the minute I arrived on the labor floor. The problem is, however, anesthetics aren't given until you've dilated to five centimeters (for all of you who haven't experienced his "miracle of life" you don't get the prize until you've hit ten). I was certain that with all that pain I was going through, I must have reached at least eight. I was informed by a nurse with a funny smile that I was at one.
I wanted to hit her. Hard.
So I waited nearly ten hours, and during that time I started to think. They say there's a reason for everything, even the most painful things in life. I know this is true, and during the pain I had a divine revelation: God is not a woman.
No woman would put another human being through that kind of torture. She would have designed a woman's body in a more thoughtful way. At least she would have devised an equally agonizing experience for men to live through--to sort of even things out.
You know, the nine months of pregnancy weren't too bad. I made it through three months of feeling like throwing up, a disappearing waist and completely eliminating sleeping on my back if I wanted to breathe at the same time. I didn't mind foregoing beer (well, maybe a little), or anything else that's bad for you but tastes good. I packed away my cute bikini undies in exchange for underwear that went to my chin and bought a "nice" cotton bra forty-seven sizes bigger than my nice lace ones. All this I figured was worth it.
But not labor. That is, until I saw her head.
No one could have prepared me for the overwhelming rush of emotion I felt when I saw this tiny human being. I never loved anyone as much as I loved her. Any inconvenience or discomfort seemed so small and insignificant compared to the miracle I was looking at.
It's funny. No one in the world could have convinced me that I would feel this wonderful about having a baby. I'm from the thirty-something generation of women determined to have careers and lives different from our mothers. No way was I going to stay home and take care of four children and one man the rest of my life. I refused to learn anything which I felt was remotely domestic. Marriage and children evoked nothing but feelings of entrapment. I liked being single, working, traveling and taking care of myself.
When I thought of having children, I was prepared for bottles, dirty diapers, crying and a lifetime of responsibility. But I forgot about the human being part. It never occurred to me that a child could bring love to your life and the responsibility to care for her would be a pleasure. It's nice to care for someone else besides myself for a change.
Catlyne has affected all of us. Father is happier. He's taking better care of himself so he will be around to teach her how to play softball. My sister practically moved in with us in hope that if she stays long enough, she'll get custody of the baby on the basis of homestead rights. We all smile more, laugh more, love each other more. How come nobody told me how great this would be?
So what's a little pain?
[b e a u t i f u l a n g e l]
- Sunday, May 20, 2007 `x
One man has enthusiasm for 30 minutes, another for 30 days, but it is the man who has it for 30 years who makes a success of his life. Edward B. Butler
yes you really have to have that same enthusiasm to succeed in life. if that is gone, you will not have that same drive to achieve what you want. you will either give up half way and do not bother about it all. so have that same feeling and reach ya goal.
ok let me give you some news which happened on tuesday. i drove my brother's car so that i can rune errands and all. there was many times that i nearly met in an accident. but nothing happened. so the next day i drove the car from one carpark to another which is nearer to the wake. then i parked head in and it was sloping in so i did not stop in time and the bumper got hit. i saw it as only a crack. i freaked out. arghhh. then on the way home i was supposed to pick up laundry before going home. and suddenly the car stopped and did not wanna start. the car and batt died on me. i panicked even more and was perspiring like a waterfall. then someone helped us to jump start. luckily my baby was with me or else i would not know what to do. this is all my first time and i am so scared now. so yeah tts the most 'happening' events of the week.
today i just slacked at home. i missed home this whole week. i feel i have not been at home much this week. so yeah wanted to stay at home, but no one was at home. its alright cause i just missed my house and bed so badly. and i miss my family too. but i never tell them that. i am eager to call the center on tues cause i will know when i can start to work. and this is good cause i can get money and also cpf too. start for my future. cause baby and i decided some stuff and ya we need savings first. will let u guys know more about it and all. so i stayed at home and watching my series which i miss a lot too. hehe. such an ass i am.
i am really happy. super duper happy. i have never felt like this before. i really do not care about how other people think or say. i mean if they are my very close and good friends they will know its all good. if not i have nothing to say already. anw everything is going good and i am really glad. i know we will have our bad times, but we will talk it out and make everything better. so yeah. ok i wanna get back to my series. so good night.
[b e a u t i f u l a n g e l]
- Saturday, May 19, 2007 `x
This is hilarious... even an Englishman could not construct sentences using numericals, which is exclusive only to Malaysians and Singaporeans.
Ah Lek was asked to make a sentence using 1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8,9 and 10. Not only did he do it 1 to 10, he did it again from 10 back to 1. This is what he came up with... 1 day I go 2 climb up a 3 outside a house to peep. But the couple saw me, so I panic and 4 down. The man rush out and wanted to 5 with me. I run until I fall 6 and throw up. So I go into 7 elev en and grab some 8 to throw at him. Then I took a 9 and try to stab him. 10 God he run away. So, I put the 9 back and pay for the 8 and left 7 eleven. Next day, I call my boss and say I am 6 . He said 5, tomorrow also no need to come back 4 work. He also asks me to climb a 3 and jump down. I don't understand, I am so nice 2 him but I don't know what he 1 .
[b e a u t i f u l a n g e l]
this week i was at a wake and attended a funeral yesterday. it did not go very well. a lot of things had happened but i do not wish to tell it all here. anw i met baby's extended family and all. arghh did not really like that very much as well. i am not in a very good mood to update so i will do a lot of updating soon. and yesterday Wesley Child Development Center called me and said the work confirm. so i have to call the place on tues again. and then i will take to the principal. i am so happy. [b e a u t i f u l a n g e l]
- Monday, May 14, 2007 `x
Forget mistakes. Forget failures. Forget everything except what you're going to do now and do it. Today is your lucky day. Will Durant
its hard to forget. how i wish so badly that i can. it just gets worse everytime i think about it. i just really wish i can forget. when i think about it all, i hurt inside. the words u use to get at me. arghh what are u trying to do?? but i am really happy now. and i should not think of anything else, cause i know i will hurt the other party.
Happy Mother's Day. Thanks For Always Being There For Me Through My Good & Bad Times. You Have Made Me The Person I Am Now. Thank U So Much.
i woke up thinking that this will be a wonderful day, but it turned out to be otherwise. arghh hate this day so much. so many things happening. news that i heard which made my eyes tear. it just hurts so much. today has been a really tough one for me. i woke up hearing news that my friend is seriously burnt from the taiwan jet crash accident. i have mentioned him before in my blog about he sharing the same birthday as me but a few years older. its really sad. i read the newspaper and i was nearly in tears. after my afternoon nap, u heard that baby's aunty whom we went to the zoo with yesterday passed away today. how worse can it get?? it was so hard to believe cause i just saw her yesterday. but this happened before too. with ammama. GOD just takes the good people. but at least they do not have to suffer anymore.
then i kinda fought with someone. caring and looking out for that person is really very wrong. we argued and i felt that i was venting my sadness and all. but i just dun know. i really feel that this person is using words to hit me back or make me realise something. but that person do not realise that i am really happy with my life. i know its hard to let go but u cannot hold on to everything for the rest of ya life. and this person is going through so much and i really pray that it gets better. i never fail to pray. it hurts me to see this person go through like that but i really cannot do anything about it. sometimes i think whether if i've made the wrong choice, but then again i know that i made the right one. and you were too in love to see what was happening. you did not see the problems that we were going to face, you did not see the things that we have to go through. you were just contented thats all. i am sorry. i really will pray for u everyday that things turns out better for u than they are now. please do not do anything stupid. please.
[b e a u t i f u l a n g e l]
- Sunday, May 13, 2007 `x
I find that the harder I work, the more luck I seem to have. Thomas Jefferson
i feel that the harder i work the harder things seem to turn out. its all so hard for me. i just dun know what to do anymore. i really do not know at all.
we woke up early and helped to make sandwiches for the day. then we got ready and headed to the zoo. we went wid baby's parents and his uncle and aunty.
i had loads of fun. it was hot and all but i still did have my fun. it was my first outing with baby and it went well. we missed the main show but its alright. certain stuff were under construction too but its ok. anw when we went to the butterfly place, we found one dead one the floor and another injured so baby took the injured one and we took a pic with it. and i also held it. it was so pretty. although i LOVE butterflies so much that was my first time i held it. and i felt so good.
after that we had so called dinner at KFC and then we went to seletar reservoir again cause we wanted to bring his parents. they enjoyed it so much. but the sunset was not as pretty as yesterday. but i still enjoyed it so much.
we headed back home after a very long day. i came hoem and got ready cause i wanted to go asoka with my brother. but that turned out to be a bad one so i dun wanna blog about it.
anw i really had so so much fun. and everything is just so good. i really cannot explain how happy i am. thanks baby. muacks.
[b e a u t i f u l a n g e l]
- Friday, May 11, 2007 `x
It's never crowded along the extra mile. Wayne Dyer
i stayed at home first half of the day. then followed my mum over to taka cause she had some invitation for osim thingy. but when we went there, it was SUPER long queue. wah typical singaporeans la. i was so annoyed.. then the guy told then no more of the goodie bag. arghh so sickening. so we headed to buy some stuff and then went to eat at KFC. went back home and waited for baby to come over.
we had dinner and we watched tv. i had a fun time with him. first ever time staying over my house and it was nice. cooked maggie after some time cause i was so hungry. day ended for now.
[b e a u t i f u l a n g e l]
The proverb warns that 'You should not bite the hand that feeds you.' But maybe you should, if it prevents you from feeding yourself. Thomas Szasz
yeah maybe you should, when that person does not let you go the way you want to go. maybe you should cause u cannot achieve ya dreams and wishes. at this point of time that is what i am feeling, but i guess it takes time for everything.
Happy Anniversary Baby. Being With You Is Just So Much Of Bliss. Although We Are Still New To All This, I Am Still So Happy & Its All So Fun. Thank You So Much.
surprised baby at midnight. did not do anything big but just something small. i hoped he liked and enjoyed it. then after that we headed to bed. we had a wonderful talk before that and it really touched my heart. thanks my love. you make me happy.
i did not really have a very good night sleep cause of baby. but it was alright. woke up and baby made bread for me. thanks. then we got ready and headed to vivo city. baby bought his shoes that he has been wanting. then we went over to tekka and headed back to his place.
we rested a while and then went out. we went to get some stuff and went to seletar reservoir. it was really beautiful. i enjoyed it so much. the scenery was breathtaking. words really cannot explain how i felt. i was so happy to be there. thank u baby for bringing me over there. and we had wine and some stuff to munch on. i took a video of baby trying to imitate the boy saying blood i posted some time ago. i will post it up so go check it out.
after that we went to ang mo kio interchange and walked around a while. then we headed back to his house. i was so tired that i slept in the bus. when we reached back, baby went to buy food back. i was kinda hungry. then we got ready and went to bed.
baby thank you so much for this day. i really enjoyed myself so much that i cannot express my feelings. thank u so much smelly. i am really glad. its all blissful. i love you.
[b e a u t i f u l a n g e l]
- Thursday, May 10, 2007 `x
What great thing would you attempt if you knew you could not fail? Robert Schuller
i was just waiting so patiently for my dinner date with my girls. then last minute misha cant make it cause her dog met in an accident some time ago and dislocated her hip, and no one was at home to look after shasha so she had to stay home. we did not cancel the date still. sharon took a bus from NP and i met her on the way cause i had to take the same bus. xo and sj were already at cityhall. then we met them and headed to ThaiExpress to eat. it was really very nice and fun. the food was GOOD!! and the jokes and laughter was just splendid.
after dinner we went to secret recipe to have desserts. super big portion. i was such a glutton. arghh so much to eat but it was all GOOOOOOOD!! i just felt so nice being with my friends again. missing school so so much now. but this is life. anw we talked and laughed more over at secret recipe. then we split and went back home. i had a very very good day.
in the night it was not a very good one though. arhhh hate all this shit happening. i dun know why it just happens. i am off to bed now.. really too tired and all.
I see the questions in your eyes I know what's weighin' on your mind You can be sure I know my heart
And I'll stand beside you through the years You'll only cry those happy tears And though I would make mistakes I'll never break your heart
I swear by the moon and the stars in the sky ... I'll be there, I swear, like a shadow that's by your side ... I'll be there For better or worse, till death do us part I'll love you with ev'ry beat of my heart ... and I swear
I'll give you ev'ry thing I can I'll build your dreams with these two hands We'll hang some memories on the walls
And when there's silver in your hair You won't have to ask if I still care 'Cos as the time turns the page, my love won't age at all
And I swear by the moon and the stars in the sky ... I'll be there I swear, like the shadow that's by your side ... I'll be there For better or worse, till death do us part I'll love you with ev'ry beat of my heart ... and I swear
[instrumental interlude]
For better or worse, till death do us part I'll love you with every (single) beat of my heart I swear, I swear, oh ... I ... swear... [b e a u t i f u l a n g e l]
I am happy and content because I think I am. Alain-Rene Lesage
i know i am happy with the one i am with now. i know i am contented with the life i have. but at times the complications seem so overwhelming that i do not know if i am happy. it just blurs the vision i had and make me so confused.
my emotions are cleared. my roller coaster ride has come to an end for the time being. i know at certain times i throw my frustrations all over the place but i know that u are always there for me. i know that i can count on you, but there is too many things happening around me for me to think straight. nonetheless thanks for being by my side and being there for me. thank you so much. just got myself thinking about everything that has been happening. really do not know what to make of everything. i am just looking forward to go out with my girls tomorrow. can take my mind off things at least.
good night =)
[b e a u t i f u l a n g e l]
the madness that no one sees except me.
what makes me go on, i wonder!!
the different faces of the angel..
he just wanted to taste the fountain water. disgusting old man.
If you are doing your best, you will not have time to worry about failure. Robert Hillyer
am i even doing my best?? i do not know cause i am being brought down too many times to know the difference now. it just scares me so much to think that i do not even know this.
am i just making a fool out of myself or do you actually care?? i sit here all alone looking at the people around me and i wonder who do i really have to turn to. and i really do not know. it just all seems so blur and it makes me wonder why am i doing all of this. am i just putting in the effort or do u really want all of this. i sit here all alone wondering all of this. and i really cannot answer the questions that come up in my head. i feel so neglected that it hurts so much. is this what i get for turning to u?? is my life really that screwed up that you just do this to me?? all i asked to be there for me and hear me out. is that too hard a job for u? if it is just let me know and i will never have to bother u ever again. cause i really wonder now if it is just me or its u. or is it about the both of us that matters to u. i really do not know anything at this very moment. and its very sad that i have to go through it alone. i was actually just counting on u to hear me out thats all. but thanks so much. you have made things so much easier for me. so many things that i am thinking right now. and its all so complicated. why must it happen to me? why must i know all of it?? why cant my family be just a normal family who is happy and all?? why cant i have a proper life to live?? why why why??? arghh i am sick of all of it. i just feel like running away to some where. i just dun wanna be around anyone and i mean anyone. too many things to think about and i cannot handle any of it anymore. so if u see me gone u will know the reason to it.
[b e a u t i f u l a n g e l]
- Sunday, May 06, 2007 `x
There came a time when the risk to remain tight in the bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom. Anais Nin
it hurts more to keep it all inside of me than to let it go. im just so used to putting everything on my shoulders that when it comes to letting it all go, it seems so scary. when i need to move on and put everything behind me why do i back out at times? on the other hand holding on to it hurts even more!!!!
went to the market for my mum in the morning. i know it does not sound so me right??? but yes i did go. i was hurting physically but still decided to head to the bf's house. cause i was missing him suddenly so much. spent the day at his house. had fun but i am tired. and then took a bus back home. was kinda short my day. i felt it was such. anyway nothing interesting just too tired for anything.
[b e a u t i f u l a n g e l]
[b e a u t i f u l a n g e l]
Woman has Man in it; Mrs. has Mr . in it; Female has Male in it; She has He in it; Madam has Adam in it; No wonder men always want to be inside women! ANSWER IS Men were born between the legs of a woman, yet men spend all their Life and time trying to go back between the legs of a woman...... Why? BECAUSE IT IS HOME SWEET HOME!!!
[b e a u t i f u l a n g e l]
Why can't life's problems hit us when we're seventeen and know everything? A.C. Jolly
it never ends. nothing ends in this world. it just keeps getting worse and never better. why cant it all happen at once and leave for good?? it just have to keep coming over and over again and i am sick of it all!!!!!!
i got up, got ready and headed over to the old man's house. we planned to go for novena and then head to buy present for my mum. so we did go for novena. before that we ate at fish and co cause i was super hungry. it was nice. anw i had this bad feeling that we will see some asses and i was so right!!! i am not running away but it is not easy for me to face this cause it brings back bad things. and i was hurt and used. ok forget it. after novena we headed to chinatown and then to tiong bahru. we got the present and just walked around. i will take a pic of the present and show u. saw my aunt jane over there. after that baby came over to my house.
watched tv and all and then headed home after some time. i really do enjoy ya company baby. whatever i said to u, i meant every word of it. and i really hope u understand. i love u. thanks. there is more to what i said but no words can express what i am feeling about all of this. but all i can say is thanks so much my love.
[b e a u t i f u l a n g e l]
- Saturday, May 05, 2007 `x
To dream of the person you would like to be is to waste the person you are. Anonymous
it all just happens. GOD makes up all these decisions not us!! i may make some decisions but if we are meant to be we will be together. i just follow my heart and how i feel.
my plans for today was to go to NP to collect more grad tickets for the bf and my brothers. then get my eyebrows done, collect my mango pants at taka and head to yishun to meet the bf. but thanks to my lovely lil brother mokan, i didnt have to go down to NP. i called the pasir ris center today, cause its been quite some time and i havent heard from them. and guess what?? they still dun have place for a new teacher. so much for wanting that job!! haha.. anw i called up my attachment center, Wesley Child Development Center. talked to the principal and she is considering taking me as a perm part time. with the monthly pay and cpf and all. i really pray i get this. i really love the center and all. pls pray that i at least get this one.
anw i went to do my stuff, and on the way thinking about my life and what i am going to do with it. headed to yishun after all of that. thanks malini for keeping me company till the white boy met me. it was really nice chatting with u and all.
went to dinner with the white boy at teppanyaki. i was so bloody bloated i tell u. anw i suggested to watch a movie cause it was a sat the next day. and it has been long since we had some quality time spent during the past few weekends. so we bought the movie tickets and had one hour to spare so we slacked at the macs there. we took pics of the sky and all. really so beautiful. then i was playing with baby like how i play with the kids in the childcare center. i will say what are my fingers used for?? and then i will tickle them. and tts the same thing i did to him. haha. movie was alright. tired though. after that took a bus back home. was admiring the mood and sky together with baby over the phone. what more can we do?? haha. but it was really nice. i just really enjoyed my day so much. thanks a lot smelly. no words to express.
*ps i watched heroes today before i left my house and it is so good.it just gets better and better. i cant wait for more to come.arghhh...
A sweet grandmother telephoned St. Joseph's Hospital, and she timidly asked, "Is it possible to speak to someone who can tell me how a patient is doing?" The operator responded, "I'll be glad to help, dear. What's the patient's name and room number?" The grandmother in her weak tremulous voice said, "Norma Findlay, Room 302." The operator replied, "Let me place you on hold while I check with her nurse." After a few minutes the operator returned to the phone, "Oh, good news. Her nurse has told me that Norma is doing very well. Her blood pressure is fine; her blood work just came back as normal. And her physician, Dr. Cohen, has scheduled her to be discharged Tuesday." The grandmother said, "Thank you. That's wonderful. I was so worried! God bless you for the good news." The operator replied, "You're more than welcome. Is Norma your daughter? The grandmother said, "No, I'm Norma Findlay in Room 302. No one tells me shit." [b e a u t i f u l a n g e l]
- Thursday, May 03, 2007 `x
I pay no attention whatever to anybody's praise or blame. I simply follow my own feelings. Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart
yes i know that i do not care about what others say, it will affect me a little but i will just close my ears and shut it off. cause when u choose to listen u are just making yaself believe and fall for it. so i simply listen to my own heart and instincts.
i am still sick. fever on and off. flu damn bad. arghh hate it all. i cant smell things and that sucks. i stayed at home and watched my tv series online. my 7th Heaven & One Tree Hill is just so addictive.
in 7th heaven, simon is just so funny and ruthy is just super cute!! i just laugh non stop. i learnt a lot from it about family and how things are taken cared of and about handling kids. in one tree hill, its just so exciting and frustrating about the stupid ass dad that they both have. arghh. ok i know im like long behind but its interesting. and lucas is super cute. yummy.
won toto todya which means i can buy mummy her mother's day gift alr. got my pay too. i am just such a pig these days. eating so much. head still painful. my flu is not helping it either. making my head pain worse. wishing i can do something about it.
watched super nanny today. the mum was like super frantic about every single thing. paranoid about everything before it even happens. i know its not easy to look after kids but they are kids after all and they need the space. i know its very easy for me to say that i will not do that in future with my kids and all, but i know i will not try to do things that will demoralize my kids. i will do everything in my strength and will to bring up my kids well. and i have faith in myself. if not why am i in the line that i am in now??
[b e a u t i f u l a n g e l]
Husband and wife are sitting quietly in bed reading when the wife looks over at him and asks the question.
WIFE: "What would you do if I died? Would you get married again?
HUSBAND: "Definitely not!"
WIFE: "Why not? Don't you like being married?"
HUSBAND: "Of course I do."
WIFE: "Then why wouldn't you remarry?"
HUSBAND: "Okay, okay, I'd get married again."
WIFE: "You would?" (with a hurt look)
HUSBAND: (makes audible groan)
WIFE: "Would you live in our house?"
HUSBAND: "Sure, it's a great house."
WIFE: "Would you sleep with her in our bed?"
HUSBAND: "Where else would we sleep?"
WIFE: "Would you let her drive my car?"
HUSBAND: "Probably, it is almost new."
WIFE: "Would you replace my pictures with hers?"
HUSBAND: "That would seem like the proper thing to do"
WIFE: "Would you give her my jewelry?"
HUSBAND: "No, I'm sure she'd want her own."
WIFE: "Would you take her golfing with you?
HUSBAND: "Yes, those are always good times."
WIFE: "Would she use my clubs?
HUSBAND: "No, she's left-handed."
WIFE: -- silence --
HUSBAND: "shit" [b e a u t i f u l a n g e l]
We do not see things as they are. We see them as we are. The Talmud
it is hard to put ourselves in another person's shoes. and what we write or say might affect the other person. cause they might see it in a very different way. so be a little more sensitive to others and what you say or write!!
i watched 'lets talk' in central today and it gave me a little more insight of how some are very insensitive to others. anw the topic was about blogging and they had a group of young adults to share their views and justify what they are doing. and a few of them there was also affected by the comments made in the blog. i am not judging or criticizing anyone but these are my views. yes this is my blog and all, but i know my limit to what i write. i do not comment or say something at the expense of another. and if i wanna say about a bad event that happened in my life i do not use names, cause that is really very insensitive. we do have our freedom of speech but we need to know that others do not see as how we see things. i mean not everyone have the same mind set or perspective of a situation. you can have 2 people looking at the same portrait but both might have different opinion of it. to me i use my blog to share my everyday life, be it funny, sad, happy or what so ever. i do not write every single thing that happens but generally. and i do share stories, jokes, movies or anything that i find interesting or what in my blog. i know people do read my blog, but i know where to draw the line. i just feel that it is how you see the situation and deal with it. i think like what the host of the talk show said, we can comment but use the words wisely so that it will not seem so criticizing. play with your words. even if u wanna comment or criticize, you can do it in a more better way. think of proper words and use it wisely. just think of others too.
ok i started to watch one tree hill. i know i know its like a few season already and now i am starting. but i dun care. i am just addicted. and i also started to watch my favourite 7th heaven. i am watching it from the season 1. so i have watched till season 1 episode 3 for one tree hill and season 1 episode 2 for 7th Heaven.
now i am watching my sweet babyboy play against AC Milan. whoohooo. kaka do not seem very cute when his hair is wet. but my darling still look super good. he needs to smile more though. the white jersey is awesome. first thing already he wanted to do some stunt. aiyo.. on kaka's first try to cross to his fellow team mate, he looked HOT!! haha. that was nearly a goal!! the condition is not really good. although the can slide and the ball can travel further, it might also cause a miss in a goal or cause an unnecessary goal!!! its just too slippery and vision impaired. gattuso looks like some italian thug and also some rugby player. whohoo. anw kaka just scored. so its 1-0. ok i shall end here and continue with it all tml. i wanna go and watch the game. good morning.
[b e a u t i f u l a n g e l]
- Wednesday, May 02, 2007 `x
All the bags are going for $15 dollars. And they do have different colours. so get back to me if you want any of it ok.
The days are too short even for love; how can there be enough time for quarreling? Margaret Gatty
do not spend ya time hating and judging people, cause many people do not even have enough time to love. i am using my time to love the people around me. i try my very best to love and give as much as i can to my loved ones. cause u will never know when it is ya time to leave this world. so make use of each day fruitfully!!
Happy Birthday My Dear Cousin Ignatius & My Friend Reena!! May God Bless U Both On This Very Day & The Rest Of Your Lives!! All The Best. Muacks =)
today i just rested at home. damn weak due to the medicine and all. i watched tv and also slept. baby came over later in the afternoon. and i was sleeping when he arrived. i got up and went to tiong bahru with him. we went to buy my contact lens and some grocery. it felt good. i saw gurpreet over there. so nice to have met her. when we got home, baby marinated the chicken. and he fried it for me. so yummy. although i was sick and could not taste much. but it was still good.
being in ya arms is the best thing ever. thanks for looking after me. baby made me sleep and went to camp.
oh anyway i wanna share with you that my graduation is on the 13th June!! cant wait and we will be wearing the graduating clothes. cool!!!
~beautifulangel~
zero5 october `86
22 years old
extroverted
SCAC Cerebral Palsy Center
Early Interventionist
catholic
attached
hotmail.com|agathadoreen ;)
Our Trip To The Zoo.
Happy Mother's Day
i told u,
At Baby's Hse
