- Thursday, November 30, 2006 `x

I'm an idealist. I don't know where I'm going but I'm on the way.
Carl Sandburg

haha this sounds so much like how i blogged the other day.
erm a little diff i guess.
hehe.
anw its good if i know my way right?
and the help of the ppl who mean the most to me.

galvanic \gal-VAN-ik\,
adjective:1. Of, pertaining to, or producing a direct current of electricity, especially when produced chemically.
2. Affecting or affected as if by an electric shock; startling; shocking.
3. Stimulating; energizing.

today is our first implementation.
it was fun.
went quite alright.
am just very tired.
arghhh..
anw like i said i am getting annoyed wid some ppl.
so sickening.

ok nvm.
i am so stressed wid life.
so many things to face.
why the hell cant ppl just leave me alone??
i really dun know what to do alr la.
when everything seems all fine,
there will be something which spoils everything.
SICKENING!!

i am too tired for all these.
i am straining myself.
too tired to even think how to solve stuff.
i am dying inside.
super strained!!
aiyah i am going to rest well now.
muacks.
good night.

PS my baby is now LCP Shawn instead of Private Shawn.
so proud of him for his promotion.
all the best da.
i know u can do it.
i love u so much.
muacks my fatso!!!
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- Wednesday, November 29, 2006 `x



No matter what accomplishments you make, somebody helped you.
Althea Gibson

somehow or another you will need at least someone's help.
thats all interdependency!!
and this is life.
you reply on ppl to a certain extend.
and thats the way it is.
i have too.
but maybe i depend a little too much.

vapid \VAP-id; VAY-pid\,
adjective:
1. Lacking liveliness and spirit; unanimated; spiritless; dull; as, "a vapid speech."
2. Flavorless; lacking taste or zest; flat; as, "vapid beer."

Happy Belated Anniversary to Nithya & Her Bf.
11 months alr.
all the best ok.
God bless u always.

Oh ya i forgot to say that yeserday i got back my results for the project of the roller coaster.
my grp got an A.
whoohoo.
then my individual grade was an A too.
combined wid the quiz we did.
haha very happy la.

ok anw today was an alright day la.
i am just leading a vapid life.
so dull and boring.
projects projects and thats what i just do.
sigh.
headed to bukit batoh for some project stuff.
arghh.

i am getting annoyed wid someone very frequently these days.
i am not putting so much on her but sometimes its really too much.
arghh.
i will try to just keep quiet to the max tt i can.

after school i met mok.
then we headed to the stadium.
aswady came to play against NP soccer team.
first ever time meeting him in real life.
at last!!
haha.
he very cute la.
anw aswady's team lost to NP.
AND ASWAD U WERE NOT SUPPOSED TO PLAY CAUSE OF YA TOE!!
thick skin ah u??
aiyo nothing to say alr.
but it was really so nice to have met u dear.
better get well soon ok.

baby came to fetch me.
i missed him so much.
these days i dun get to spend much time wid him.
so tiring all the days.
aiyah so sian la.
see like i said my life is so vapid now.
hope it comes back to life soon.

mok i am so sorry da.
i am really so sad for what i actually did.
i am so angry wid myself.
when i saw u lying there in pain i was so scared.
i am so sorry.
really i will make it up to u somehow ok.
i am so sorry!!
will never play like that ever again.
i feel so hurt to see u in that situation.
i really never meant to hurt u.
i think tis is the first time I made u cry and i am very upset!!
so sorry.
i cld not tahan that i cried to shawn.
it really hurts me so much.
sorry da.

i am tired and also very sad.
will go and rest now.
take care.
muacks.
good night =)

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- Tuesday, November 28, 2006 `x

Simplify Your Life

#1: Give Yourself An Extra 10 Minutes

Instead of always rushing, start 10 minutes early instead of waiting until the last possible moment. You will find youself with plenty of time to spare and less stressed out in the process.

#2: Create A "Selffish" Ritual

When you haev what you need in an emotional sense, you have plenty left over for others. Rituals can be as simple as squeezing exercise into you daily routine, browsing bookstores or having a quiet cup of coffee before work. The point is, it's your time-a special part of the day reserved just for you.

#3: Speak Softly

When you speak too quickly and with a loud voice, the energy you send our into the world is frantic and nervous. People around you will feel pressured and slightly agitated. Speak softly and you may discover that you begin to feel calmer and less stressed. Next, you'll discover that everyone around you will quickly start to quiet down, too.

#4: Embrace Change

Truth is, everything is in a constant state of change- our bodies, homes, children. We can fight and resist change or surrender and embrace it. The problem with resistance is it's a losing batter- 100% of the time. When we try to resist the inevitable, we cause ourselves great pain and sorrow adn miss out on the great deal of potential joy. When we embrace change, we open the door to a far more peaceful existance. Then life becomes more of an adventure and each step seems more special and important.

#5: Don't Dramatise Deadlines

A lot of deadlines stress comes not from the deadlines themselves, but instead from the energy wasted thinking about them, wondering whether we'll meet them, feeling sorry for ourselves and, perhaps most of all, commiserating with others about them.

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Steven Covey's 7 Habits

Rational: These 7 habits help us to move from dependence to independence to interdependence.

Habit #1: Be Proactive

• Behaviour is a product of decisions based on values rather than a product of conditions based on feelings.
• Proactive person choose not to be controlled by others/external factors. "Act,Not Be Acted On"
• Proactive person knows he/she is responsible for his/her own effectiveness and happiness.

Habit #2: Begin With The End In Mind

"Begin life with the end of life in mind.."

• Habit 2 is a leadership habit; deals with directors.
• Can begin by writing personal mission statement, philosophy or creed. It deals with direction. What you value in life can be valuable tool for groups or individuals. The key i sto have it written in people's minds and into their hearts..take time over it.
• Goal is to get centered around a set of principles, values and purposes that transcend.

"Tie Yourself Not To Your History, But To Your Potential."

Habit #3: Put First Things First

• Management habit deals with speel, co-ordination, logistics and going in that direction, time management.
• Put first things first focuses on priority; goal is to manage self an dnot time.
• Difference between important and urgent.

Time Management Matrix

• Communications is a mutual exchange of infomation and understanding by any effective means.

Habit #5: Seek First To Understand Then To Be Understood

"The Heart Has Its Reasons Which Reasons Knows Not Of."

• The single most important principle in the field of interpersonal relations.

Habit #6: Synergize; Co-operation

• All parties work creatively to arrive at a solution. (win/win)
• Synergize, 1+1=2,3,4 or 5
• Compromise, 1+1=1 1/2

Habit #7: Sharpen The Saw; Self Renewal

• Habit 7 is a seld-maintenance habit.
• Continual self-renewal involves 4 dimensions of our nature.

spiritual self

mental self

physical self

social/emotional self

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- Monday, November 27, 2006 `x




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- Sunday, November 26, 2006 `x




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all the pics from the chalet.
feast ya eyes.
too lazy to write caption for all.
anw i am glad everyone enjoyed themselves.
thanks to all those who helped and came.
muacks!!

Labels: Pictures

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- Thursday, November 23, 2006 `x



When a person doesn't have gratitude, something is missing in his or her humanity. A person can almost be defined by his or her attitude toward gratitude.
Elie Wiesel

haha.
there is so many things i can say abt this statement,
but i shall reserve my comments.
actually the statement says it all.
anw what i believe is what u reap is what u sow.
i bet everyone of u who is human and have gd teachings will know abt it,
unlike some useless ppl.

trencherman \TREN-chuhr-muhn\, noun:
A hearty eater.

haha this word reminds me of yesterday's carls jr. and also today al-ameen.
ate so much!!
yummy!!
food is the best thing ever!!

anw today was a short day but due to projects,
it was quite long.
and i was freaking tired esp cause of the weather!!
after class,
we went to meet our advisor agnes.
we are having some probs wid our IEP.
sigh.
so stressful actually.
but wid proper planning everything will be alright.
after meeting her,
sj drove us to al-ameen for lunch.
very cute la she drive.
when i get the video i will upload it ok.

we had a wonderful time eating there.
laugh and laugh.
ok la tts the time we can really be at peace and not so stressful.
it was gd though.
some time away from the projects.
my head is hurting just thinking abt all the projects and all.
headed to macs opp the rd to discuss abt projects.
after some time we went in our diff directions.
i was supposed to go toa payoh but was too tired so headed back home.

i came home and had my nap.
quite short la.
i received my package of csi maimi season 1 and the bouse.
haha.
so happy.
too tired to take pics of it also.
another day.

i am missing my baby.
feel like being in his arms now.
tml our 2 years 2 months.
so happy.
but my weekend will be so packed!!
arghhh.
but still im spending it wid him.
yayness!!
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Interesting piece of information...

"There was a study done where a control group of 100 people were divided into two.
50 people watched a very funny, tears-of laughter type movie.
50 watched a very sad and tears of compassion type movie.
At the end of the sessions researchers collected the "happy tears" and the "sad tears" with eyedroppers.
They found that "happy tears" are made up of brine...
salt water and not a great deal else
However the "sad tears" were found to contain the very same chemicals and enzymes that are found in tumors, ulcers and other such lumps and bumps and sicknesses through out the body. This test concluded that the body, when crying in sadness etc is literally flushing out all of the toxic-chemicals that accumulate and are a part of the sadness /heartache experience.
Therefore if one holds back those tears, those toxic-waters will find somewhere else to deposit themselves....
and prolonged lack-of-crying-release will guarantee that the body will accumulate a huge amount of internal pollution and toxicity that should have
been released through the tears........
is it any wonder that the eyes sting so much when we hold back our tears?"

LESSON FROM THE STUDY: CRY YOUR HEART OUT WHEN YOU ARE SAD, LONELY, ALONE, DEPRESSED, ETC.....
IT IS GOOD FOR YOUR HEALTH!
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- Wednesday, November 22, 2006 `x

my sweetheart hugged me.

cld not really see the waterfall.

baby and maxi,

both acting like monkeys!!

Labels: Pictures

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- Tuesday, November 21, 2006 `x




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- Monday, November 20, 2006 `x

ps i am going to slp now damn tired.
gd night.

UPDATED!!

we were attacked by 2 young boys who had hairs like the kungfu fighters.

haha XP was the victim anw.

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- Sunday, November 19, 2006 `x



It's interesting and amazing to learn what 'love' is in the eyes of children... It's so sweet and the words they use are so simple, yet mean a lot... Read on... "When my grandmother got arthritis, she couldn't bend over and paint her toenails anymore. So my grandfather does it for her all the time, even when his hands got arthritis too. That's love."
Rebecca- aged 8
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"When someone loves you, the way they say your name is different. You just know that your name is safe in their mouth."
Billy - aged 4
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"Love is when a girl puts on perfume and a boy puts on shaving cologne and they go out and smell each other."
Karl - aged 5
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"Love is when you go out to eat and you give somebody most of your French fries without making them give you any of theirs."
Chrissy - aged 6
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"Love is what makes you smile when you're tired."
Terri - aged 4
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"Love is when my mommy makes coffee for my daddy and she takes a sip before giving it to him, to make sure the taste is OK."
Danny - aged 7
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"Love is when you kiss all the time. Then when you get tired of kissing, you still want to be together and you talk more. My Mommy and Daddy are like that. They look gross when they kiss."
Emily - aged 8
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"Love is what's in the room with you at Christmas if you stop opening presents and listen." Bobby - aged 7 (Wow!)
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"If you want to learn to love better, you should start with a friend whom you hate."
Nikka - aged 6 (we need a few million more Nikkas on this planet)
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"Love is when you tell a guy you like his shirt, then he wears it everyday."
Noelle - aged 7
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"Love is like a little old woman and a little old man who are still friends even after they know each other so well."
Tommy - aged 6
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"During my piano recital, I was on a stage and I was scared. I looked at all the people watching me and saw my daddy waving and smiling. He was the only one doing that. I wasn't scared anymore."
Cindy - aged 8
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"My mommy loves me more than anybody. You don't see anyone else kissing me to sleep at night."
Clare - aged 6
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"Love is when Mommy gives Daddy the best piece of chicken."
Elaine-aged 5
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"Love is when Mommy sees Daddy smelly and sweaty and still says he is handsomer than Brad Pitt."
Chris - aged 7
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"Love is when your puppy licks your face even after you have left him alone all day."
Mary Ann - aged 4
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"I know my older sister loves me because she gives me all her old clothes and has to go out and buy new ones."
Lauren - aged 4
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"When you love somebody, your eyelashes go up and down and little stars come out of you." (what an image)
Karen - aged 7
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"You really shouldn't say, 'I love you' unless you mean it. But if you mean it, you should say it a lot. People forget."
Jessica - aged 8
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And the final one --
Author and Lecturer Leo Buscaglia once talked about a contest he was asked to judge.
The purpose of the contest was to find the most caring child.
The winner was a four-year-old child whose next door neighbor was an elderly gentleman who had recently lost his wife.
Upon seeing the man cry, the little boy went into the old gentleman's yard, climbed onto his lap, and just sat there.
When his Mother asked what he had said to the neighbor, the little boy said, "Nothing, I just helped him cry."
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A woman came out of her house and saw 3 old men with longwhite beards sitting in her front yard.
She did not recognize them.
She said "I don't think I know you, but you must be hungry. Please come in and have something to eat."
"Is the man of the house home?", they asked.
"No", she replied. "He's out."
" Then we cannot come in", they replied.
In the evening when her husband came home, she told him what had happened.
"Go tell them I am home and invite them in!"
The woman went out and invited the men in
"We do not go into a House together," they replied.
"Why is that?" she asked.
One of the old men explained:
"His name is Wealth," he said pointing to one of his friends, and said pointing to anotherone, "He is Success, and I am Love."
Then he added,"Now go inand discuss with your husband which one of us you want in your home."
The woman went in and told her husband what was said.
Her husband was overjoyed. "How nice!!", he said. "Since that isthe case, let us invite Wealth. Let him come and fill our homewith wealth
His wife disagreed. "My dear, why don't we invite Success?"
Their daughter-in-law was listening from the other corner of the house.
She jumped in with her own suggestion:
"Would it not be better to invite Love? Our home will then be filled with love"
"Let us heed our daughter-in-law's advice," said the husband to his wife.
"Go out and invite Love to be our guest."
The woman went out and asked the 3 old men, "Which one of you is Love? Please come in and be our guest."
Love got up and started walking toward the house.
The other 2 also got up and followed him.
Surprised, the lady asked Wealth and Success:
"I only invited Love, Why are you comingin?"
The old men replied together:
"If you had invited Wealth or Success, the other two of us would've stayed out,
but since you invited Love, wherever He goes, we go with him.
Wherever there is Love, there is also Wealth and Success!!!!!!"

MY WISH FOR YOU......
-Where there is pain, I wish you peace and mercy.
-Where there is self-doubting, I wish you a renewed confidence in your ability to work through it.
-Where there is tiredness, or exhaustion, I wish you understanding, patience, and renewed strength.
-Where there is fear, I wish you love, and courage.
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17th Nov 2006, Friday

Climb up on some hill at sunrise. Everybody needs perspective once in a while, and you'll find it there.
Robb Sagendorph

at the top of the hill,
u can see everything from there.
things at far distance which u will not be able to see when u are on the ground.
and alot of times i put myself up in the hills to see the far distance.
sometimes i make the wrong decision but i know most of the times i make the good ones.
and i am happy that i can look far.
but these days i am living on each day as it comes.
who knows when we have to leave this world??

had class from 8-9am.
after that had project meeting for IEP.
then misha, sharon and myself headed to misha's hse.
we rested there a while then went to the kindergarten.
we helped out in the camp.

overall i had a great time.
baby came over a while during the camp fire.
we had singing and a good time.
i just loved the kids.
although some of them irritated the hell out of me.
anw when it was slp time,
the chn was slping all over the place.
that i cld not slp at all.
their legs n hands were flying all over.
arghh.

18th Nov 2006, Saturday

The world is not yet exhausted; let me see something tomorrow which I never saw before. Samuel Johnson

came home at abt 1 pm.
went to slp straight away.
i was too tired.
woke up and got ready to go to stephen's b'day party.
went wid my parents.
quite alot of ppl there.
vinod and baby were spinning.
so annoying la.
then i hurt my eye.
there was something sticking out of the window then when i was bending down to take my bag,
i hit my left eye there.
it was so painful.
arghhh.
it was so red.
then sharp pains came in intervals.
i was too tired so we headed back home at abt 2am.

anw some ppl still had the cheeks to come to the party.
and wearing so bare!!
do u not have respect for the ppl who are there??
why are u showing everyone that u are so cheap??
what is ya damn motive??
u are really so cheap do u know that?
u are making eveyone think of u like that!
get a life la.
aiyah i really dun know what u want from that poor boy la.
but u really disgust me.
i am sick of seeing and hearing abt u.
i swear if u ever do anything to him,
i will not think twice in slapping ya filthy face!!
and to think that ya parents think so highly of u!!

19th Nov 2006, Sunday

When angry, count ten before you speak; if very angry, a hundred.
Thomas Jefferson

from today onwards i will also include word of the day.
proclivity \pro-KLIV-uh-tee\, noun:A natural inclination; predisposition.

haha yeah i know this one.
but it does not actually work for me.
hehe maybe i just have a very huge temper.

anw baby slept in my hse wid me.
we were so tired that we had 3 slp times,
wid short intervals in between.
i just love my baby so much.
hehe.
i had to re-do some of the IEP stuff.
was quite ok la.
i am so tired.
feel like doing so many things but too tired.
anw i am going to rest n all now again.
gd night.

UPDATED!!
ange came over to my hse a while.
she is super cute.
and her vocabulary has expanded.
its really nice to see her.
the way she talks very nice.
anw some pics of her.
now she is so tall.
she is only 2 years n big.

and i am missing so many ppl now.

sigh.

i feel i am so packed wid things to do.

sorry to all the ppl.

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Labels: Pictures

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- Thursday, November 16, 2006 `x



15th Nov 2006, Wednesday

Choices are the hinges of destiny.
Edwin Markham

yes!! we make our own choices which moulds our own future.
and i make both good and bad choices.
i mean tt is life.
but i am glad i have wonderful ppl ard me to help me make the decisions.
thanks for making my life better to even think of living on!


16th Nov 2006, Thursday

Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind.
Dr. Seuss

haha i stopped caring abt what other ppl think and say abt me or what i do.
cause i dun care at all.
its my life and my blog,
and if u wanna be bothered wid my life i cant care less.
cause u r interested in my life not the other way round.
and all my friends ard me dun mind.
cause they are my friends!!
and they know me better than all u ppl out there.

went to sharon's place to do our sculpture project.
had fun doing it actually.
took pics and all.
have so many things to do.
after that i headed to causeway point.
then went over to baby's place.
had a great time there.
so long never go there.
missing my secong family so much.
i love my both families alot.
muacks.
ok i am damn tired.
gd nite.
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- Wednesday, November 15, 2006 `x



The more I think about it, the more I realize there is nothing more artistic than to love others. Vincent Van Gogh

i love the ppl ard me.
sometimes its so hard to let them go.
but then again ppl who come in my life,
will go somehow or another.
and it always erm ok 90% happens like that.
its sad actually.
and to know that the ppl u really love the most lie and hide things from u.

i am torn between my emotions.
i just get so confused so easily.
but i am fighting.
fighting really hard.
and i know its not going to be easy but i know i can do it.
since i am in sch its harder.
but i know i can.

anw i din go to sch today.
but sharon called and said that one of the lessons was compulsory so i went.
baby sent me there.
it was some talk.
haha.
quite funny la.
then after that baby fetch me home.
then we went to my godma's place.
played wid the baby a while.
and then i found out that the gal is actually not pregnant.
she is lying n all.
arghh i dun know la.
so sick n tired of all this shit la.

i am just happy.
just too happy.
anw i was really upset yesterday night.
din know that someone so close to me cld do this to me.
fine no point getting sentimental over anything.
like i said its their life and i am not getting involved.
from now on i will never ask or interfer in anything u do.
all the best.

UPDATED!! 12.27 am, 15th Nov 2006.
I just finished reading the book, My Sister's Keeper!
it is very nice.
i think u shld read it.
the ending is really unexpectable but i kinda guessed it.
and i realised that u will not know when u will be dying.
its sad actually.
so i am living every moment very preciously.
i have realised alot of things actually just by reading the book and i am grateful.
anw go read ok.

Btw HAPPY BIRTHDAY STEPHEN!!
an adult now eh??
all the best.
muacks.
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- Monday, November 13, 2006 `x

Labels: Pictures

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UPDATED!!

happy that i can talk to baby abt anything. anw baby got internet back in his hse. i am so happy. now i can chat wid baby. n he can tag me more often. love u so much baby.

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- Sunday, November 12, 2006 `x



Don't solve your problems, dissolve your problems--so that they should not recur again.
Yogi Bhajan

i am trying so hard to forget all the things that have happened in the last couple of months.
maybe even more than months,
but it is all so hard.
it keeps coming back and haunting me!!
i try many ways,
i even try not to think abt it.
BUT it cant go away.
the only way for me to move in is when the person involved has hurt me deep.
cause in my situation,
i have hurt that person.
and in our duration of knowing each other,
alot of things has happened to just forget so easily.

today we were just supposed to be at home,
which we actually did.
haha.
baby came and gave me a surprise.
haha.
so cute la.
then he came over to my place and helped me wid the invitation cards.
second round of printing it.
haha hopefully enuff for all.
then we ate in my hse also.
baby went over to his aunts place to have a nap and so did i in my own hse.
haha.
was just slping the whole day.
yummy.
then woke up and had some time wid baby again.
my parents went for a relative's ROM but i was not keen in going so i stayed at home wid baby.
then my eldest bro went out wid his friends.
haha.
the whole hse to me and baby.
we spent some quality time together.

i just love him so much.
he is really there for me so much.
even though when i am confused and having a rough time wid my feelings,
he is still strong for me and loves me endlessly.
i just love him so much.
no matter how confused i am,
i know i love him so much and wanna spend the rest of my life wid him.
and i am sorry we are working towards that.

thanks baby for spending time wid me.
i appreciate all the talks and ya concern.
it makes me feel so wanted.
muacks my fatso.

OFF TO WATCH CSI!!
=)
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Labels: Pictures

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- Saturday, November 11, 2006 `x



Whenever you do a thing, act as if all the world were watching.
Thomas Jefferson

i just feel that i think too much abt others that it makes it so hard for me to do what i really want.
i always think abt what others will think abt me or the situation.
abt how they will judge me and stuff like that.
maybe by thinking of these sort of stuff,
it makes me make proper decisions.
but at times it affects me so darn much.
sometimes it even stops me from doing what i really want to do.

was slacking at home the whole day.
mok had dhool auditions.
and later in the day he will be dancing at esplanade.
wish i can go n see both.
sigh.
anw was supposed to meet up wid my cousins and all,
but din cause my cousin postponed it.
was raining the whole day.
so nice weather to slp.
but baby and i planned to chill out.
this is our first outing.
baby took so long to come meet me,
cause he was stuck in the rain n all.
we met steph, shalini and damien.
we headed to vivo city.
we ate at the banquet.
and we saw shaun delano.
oh my its been so long since i met him,
and i am so so happy.
i jsut got reminded of all those times i spent wid him.
after that we sat ard and was making fun of damien.
then we all got so tired and came home.
i had a gd time.
just enjoying all my time wid my sweet baby.
muacks.

some times i wish i will be infected wid some disease or what.
i mean at least maybe my lifespan wld be shorter.
even though i'll suffer physically,
i dun have to go through emotional rollercoaster.
like what i am going through right now.
i just wish i can leave this world.
although i wanna achieve alot of things,
i rather leave this world than to keep hurting ppl ard me whom i love the most.
arghh.
why must humans go through like that??

COUNTDOWN:
10 more days to my parents 25th anniversary.
10 more days to a special friend's b'day, wish i cld celebrate wid him.
4 more days to stephen's 21st b'day.
7 more days to stephen's party!!
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It's not whether you get knocked down, it's whether you get back up.
Vince Lombardi

there are so many ppl who try to knock me down,
but each time they try i get up feeling stronger and more confident.
which means they have failed and i have won and still winning the battle.
i still fall down on certain ocassions,
but i somehow will bring myself up.
although the pain is still there,
i try to control and heal it wid time.

today my day was good.
in school i felt quite tired.
feeling like that for the pass few days already.
very weak and all.
but i still had a gd laugh wid my friends.
mok came and meet me before he went for class.
i miss him alot.
hmph.
after sch i was heading home,
when i saw amalina and angeline.
chated wid them a while.
was bitching abt ppl and talking abt some other stuff.
a while later,
baby came outside my door.
i knew he was outside.
after which, we went to the coffee shop and had dinner.
steph,liana,shalani and jerry came along.
they planned to go bumblebee a while after that.
and baby n i tagged along cause it is a long time since we went out wid them.

baby broke his viginity by taking bus wid ez-link.
he din even know how to use it.
so mad la my boy.
it was so funny.
then i had a gd chat wid shalini.
quite nice.
bumblebee was boring.
maybe cause i never club alr.
it din appeal to me actually.
but stayed there a while.
met some ppl who i used to know when i was active in night life.
but its nice to see nice faces too.
at least i din get to see some asses face.
tats gd enuff.

took pics and all.
fun on that part though.
after so long i am taking pic wid stephen.
bloody bum always dun wanna take wid me.
after that we headed home.
i was so darn tired.
came back started to vomit again.
sigh.
but i am ok.

anw off i go to my dreamland.
darn tired.
enjoy the pics.
[b e a u t i f u l a n g e l]

shals and steph.

liana and suresh.

pics wid steph.

at last.

more pics!!

dun worry i was not drunk.

u just make me go weak in my knees.

the gals, trip to bumblebeezZzZ.

hehe.

nothing to say.

we make this look GOOD!!

suresh and i.

rasta boy.

white white white!!

baby's fav pic!!

his classic shot.

umbrella ad.

spiderman shoe and i.

before our seafood dinner.

my ad for the book.

cool steph.

i love this pics alot.

Labels: Pictures

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- Thursday, November 09, 2006 `x




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- Wednesday, November 08, 2006 `x



If God brings you to it, God will bring you through it.
Robert Schuller (submitted by Mstaff01)

i've been through alot of obstacles.
from emotional to physical to relationships.
and GOD never failed to guide me through it all.
i am glad i trust in HIM no matter what.
i am not regretting what i believe and how i've grown up to be.
i am loving every moment of my life,
cause i know it will be all good some day.

i always look forward to weds class.
cause my lecturer karuna is very funny.
and the way she teaches is very nice.
but i dread the last class.
arghh i just dislike the lecturer.
sigh.
but i still like weds.
today i took the test which i missed yesterday cause of my mc.
the test was alright.

overall my day was fine.
baby came and picked me up.
headed to my hse.
then i went over to baby's aunts place.
kinda tired actually.
wish i can have a proper back massage.
baby came over to my hse and gave me a massage.
BUT my back is still pain.
hmph i guess it will be there for a long time.
very painful.
the doc says its just muscle ache.
i dun think so.
nvm.
i'll just live wid it,
what else can i do right??

preparing for my parents wedding anniverary party.
arghh need alot of cash.
so headache.
aiyah why is money so impt in this world??
so sickening!

i am going to watch csi and head to bed alr.
muacks.
gd nite.
hope ya day went fine.
[b e a u t i f u l a n g e l]





- Tuesday, November 07, 2006 `x



You can safely assume you've created God in your own image when it turns out he hates all the same people you do.
Anne Lamott

Happy Birthday Sunther!!
i love u so much.
=)

i am feeling sick the past few days.
whole body aching.
feeling so tired n all.
when i look at food i jsut feel like vomiting and giddy.
which i knew wat is happening to me.
i hate feeling like that!!
i have loads of stuff to do,
but i am feeling like such which stops me from doing the taks.
arghh.
hate being so weak.

baby came to the clinic wid me.
he surprised me by showing up there.
naughty boy.
but thanks alot.
the doc din seem to find anything wrong wid me but i think otherwise.
nvm i'll just carry on like that.
i came home and rested.
took meds and slept wid baby.
when we woke up,
we watched the movie,
'The Road To Guantanamo'
its abt afghanistan prisoners and all.
its like a documentary.
but its quite nice.

i just love my baby so much.
thanks da for taking care of me always.
muacks.
i am loving u so so much!!
=)
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- Monday, November 06, 2006 `x

they were taking pics but i disturbed them.

baby did this for me.

and i am loving it.

i did this myself.

so in love wid this lil one.

muacks.

Labels: Pictures

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'Twas her thinking of others that made you think of her.
Elizabeth Barrett Browning

i had a good day today.
baby did not go camp as he was not feeling too gd.
he went to the hospital to see the doc.
after that he came to meet me in my sch.
we stayed back after sch and did project.
was quite ok.
maybe cause baby was wid me.
baby came back home wid me.
we slacked and watched movie.
quite ok the movie.
anw yesterday i watched hills have eyes,
and it sucked big time.
i mean cause of the grogy shit and all.
disgusting!!
yucks.
i feel i cant watch these kind of movie anymore alr.

baby did heena for my hand.
so nice.
posted some pics of it.
i just feel so happy when i am wid him.
loving him so much.
muacks da.
i feel that our projects are going well.
from my point of view.
maybe cause its the initial period of it all.

anw i started to read this book i borrowed from ziwen.
My Sister's Keeper by Jodi Picoult.
and in the book there is a quote which i actually quoted before in my blog.
its 'When u only have a hammer, everything else seems like a nail'
and i feel like God is just telling me something.
anw this book is nice.
so far the way the author is nice.
i am loving the bk but not enuff time to read it as fast.
hehe.
have many other things la.

ok i am going to rest and read book alr.
muacks.
gd night.
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- Sunday, November 05, 2006 `x

darlini and me.

my favourite cousin from shawn's side.

me in baby's room.

hmph what are we thinking??

my personal DJ shawnie!!

Our dilemma is that we hate change and love it at the same time; what we really want is for things to remain the same but get better.

Sydney J. Harris

yeah i hate changes.
i just want thinsg to be the way they are.
i just cant make myself adjust to things.
maybe things are for the better but i still find it hard to accept or change.

i enjoyed myself at baby's hse today.
we put make up and nail polish on him.
so fun la.
i enjoyed my time wid his cousins too.
my favourite actually.
i just love being wid baby's family.
really feel like my own.
i've never loved anyone's family as much.
i do love but not as much.
anw i am missing so many ppl.
arghhh.
wish i have more time to meet all of u.
but i will ok.
dun worry.

on friday baby n i came up wid a plan.
we decided to have an outing every fortnight or once a month.
just spending time wid each other.
or maybe inviting some of our friends along.
i mean think abt it.
u've been wid someone for so long and doing almost the same things everytime.
isnt it boring??
thats why we want to do this to save our relationship.
maybe if u are also feeling the same way in ya relationship,
you shld try it.
this coming weekend we will be having our first outing. (not first time going out but the first time trying this new plan)
and i will sure update u ppl on it ok.
ok its time for me to hit the bed.
gd nite.

Labels: Pictures

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enjoy the pics.
all from cherie hearts childcare.
just adore all of them.
muacks.

Labels: Pictures

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- Friday, November 03, 2006 `x

baby using nessa's hand band.

up close and personal.

thanks babe for this.

Life does not have to be perfect to be wonderful.
Annette Funicello (submitted by reginawags)

yes i agree that life is being happy wid what u have and not wanting more than that.
i am happy wid what i have now.
although sometimes i want more,
i will think again and just forget abt it.
i guess GOD always have ways to show me the real meaning and feelings.
HE somehow shows me ways to come back.
and i am so so glad.
i am so glad i am in love.
i am so glad things are gd.
yeah every relationship has its ups and downs,
and some how u will give up one day or another.
BUT for me,
i've thought of giving up so many times.
luckily i view signs and have a wonderful baby who never gives up on me.
and i am happy wid my life.

past few days i've been very confused and feelings so complicated.
i just dun feel right.
i just cant go on like this.
i mean i know at times i wanna be single but then again,
i cant do it.
cause the love i have for him is so strong.
that somehow or another,
i will realise it, i am really happy now.

today i made a police report.

my first ever time making one on my own.

its abt the new exercise area right infront of my blk.

chn are going in the restricted area, and playing.

and the place is not officially open.

you know wid the barriers and all.

and the chn still open and go in.

what if they get injured??

aiyah.

so i called and complained.

then after some time the police came.

and upon seeing the police the chn all ran.

hehe..

but the police din do anything more than that.

arghhh.

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- Thursday, November 02, 2006 `x

after the sweet dinner.

lani and me.

acting all so innocent.

the smallest angel in my life.

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Let me win, but if I cannot win, let me be brave in the attempt.
Motto of the Special Olympics

i am attempting to try alot of things.
but ending up in the same place.
i am scared to let go and try new things.
i am scared of alot of things.
i am just a fearful person.
holding on seems to be the right way,
but my heart tell me otherwise.
i am trying my best to be brave.
but my feelings are getting so mixed up.
what am i supposed to do??

had no lessons today.
went to sch for some degree talk and to do projects.
very happy wid the way sch stuff are going.
except that i have to face u in school.
dun know what to make up of ya expressions.
sigh.
anw my feelings are not helping me cope wid my day.
arghhh just so annoying.
like i said it seems so much better to hold on than to let go.
BUT how long can i keep doing that??
i will be cheating myself no matter what.
its all dying.
i cant get it back.
i tried.
i tried as hard as i can.
i know i am weak when it comes to the matters of the heart and i am not strong now.
i am getting weaker as day goes by.
i dun even know what i wanna do wid my life.
as in education path.
i mean its so hard to decide and also cause of the financial probs.
its just so hard.
brain dead!!
thinking so much that its all dead.
so complicated life gets as u get older!!
darn it.

terrible chest aches.
breathing getting worse.
never been better actually.
going through an emotional rollercoaster.
hard to know when it will stop.
life's roller coaster does not really have an end like how the normal one does.
sigh.
i guess this is life.
anw i guess its all better this way.
too many things have happened for everything to go smoothly or even to think of being friends again.
so i am letting it go.
come what may.
i am just leaving everything in HIS hands.
trusting my gut instincts and going on.

pls do not judge me.
u dun know what i have to go through.
u just see the outside picture.
anw u are not in the same shoes as me.
although everything can seem all so flowery,
things can be quite bad on the inside.
its my decision and i am going to be brave and stand by it.
thanks for sticking thru wid me.
i appreciate every single gesture.
i am not pushing anyone away.
i love and care for every single one of u.
and will never leave.
muacks.
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- Wednesday, November 01, 2006 `x



Don't try to solve serious matters in the middle of the night.
Philip K. Dick

I have this habit of wanting to solve everything asap.
and most of the time its in the middle of the night.
sigh maybe i just cant wait to solve everything in hand.
and thats my very bad habit.
i guess its bad.

anw today i had a wonderful day.
i went to eat dinner wid baby and his whole family.
we went to rasa istimewa c2k at chua chu kang park.
it was ok food.
but i just had a blast wid the whole family.
alot of things seem better.
annah can sit when i am there and never move away.
although he is still not talking to me but i feel gd.
actually very very happy.

alot of things happening in and ard me.
i just dun know what to think of it or do abt it.
alot of things on my mind.
alot of things i wanna do.
achieve alot.
help my parents.
make everything ok ard me.
make money and support my family.
arghh so many cravings and wnatings,
but leading me to no where.
i am afraid.
sigh.

i am dead tired.
going to slp now.
gd nite.
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