- Tuesday, May 30, 2006 `x

today when i was on my way to sch,
i saw Brandy in HollandV.
it was just so funny.
but yeah my journey still continued.
anw school was ok.
cleared some doubts with my lecturer.
after that headed home.

had some probs at home.
arghh.
if i ever find out something was going on,
i will never be able to forgive that person and will hunt the other person down.
anw i also had some other probs wid my personal life.
i just wanted to be alone so i headed to esplanade.
the scenery was splendid.
i took some pics of esplanade itself and the merlion.
so cute.
sitting all alone made me think.
i had so much on my mind.
felt a little lonely but guess i dun get this kind of private moments to myself.
wish i could turn to someone with all my probs that was bothering me,
so i decided to go somewhere alone and talk to God.
made me feel so much better.
there was this guy selling ice cream and drinks.
he had his whole family there wid him; wife and 2 kids.
the youngest one was abt 1 years old i think.
very cute.
anw there was this couple who was sitting beside me.
there were smooching and hugging and doing all sorts of stuff.
i mean it was in public and they din even bother.
then there was this grp of malay guys who walked passed and said in malay..
'wah not shy and no shame sia'
i totally agree with what they said.
the moon look very romantic.
it was a cresent,
i love looking at the moon esp if its a full moon.
i sprt of cleared things on my mind.
just need to find a job and stand on my 2 feet.
i dun wanna depend on anyone no more.

thanks for everything u have done for me.
really appreciate everything.
i love all my friends and loved ones.
esp my sweetheart shawnieee.

to the person who tagged my blog widout writing ya name.
i wanna say a big thanks to u cause with out u,
i will never realise how many ppl really love and cared for me.
and u have no right to tell me what to do.
u said i shld be happy that ppl still wanna hang out wid me??
haha u can tell those ppl dun waste their tiem if they are forcing themselves,
cause i have better people to hang out wid rather than wasting my time ard hypocrites.
anw i am very much contended with my life cant u tell??
i dun put on a facade,
if u read my blog u will know that i do write my probs also.
i dun think that its something to be ashamed of cause this is life.
with out probs in life it will not be called life,
its called PERFECT!!
and no one is perfect,
for ya info,
i have a wonderful bf, many other friends and my family who stands by me always.
u dun have to tell me what to do and wat not to,
when u are even ashamed to write ya name.
thats all i have to say to u looser.


[b e a u t i f u l a n g e l]





- Sunday, May 28, 2006 `x



I just recently found out that some people have been saying things that dun even exist.
dun know who the person is also.
anw the issue is so funny.
u can just laugh when u hear it but i shall not write it out,
cause it might be a bit sensative.
i really cant be bothered with all this childishness.
but i just feel the relationships that baby have now is going to get a little affected by it.
aiyah why are people so free to make up stories and all ah??

ok let me come to my day.
i was just at home for 3/4 of my day.
was suppose to go swimming with baby but unfortunately it was raining so din not.
i was helping my bro do his assignment for him.
it is due tmr.
then i went to slp a while as i could not resist the nice weather.
when i woke up i watched vcd.
baby came over to my hse.
we watched s'pore idol a while.
i realised that the guy who acted in 'goal' a tamil drama in central is also a participant in s'pore idol.
the same guy who looks like mok.
hehe so funny.
baby and i was laughing.
but i din really get a chance to see how he sang,
cause we headed to Mt Faber SAFRA.
we met kavi, steph and hakim.
after that we headed back to TB.
we actually wanted to go eat but baby was tired as he needs to go camp tmr.
so baby and i headed back home while the others carried on.
i love being with baby.
it means so much to me.
although its just a little while,
but i still love it.

life is so much of complications.
cleared some of the things that has been bothering me.
but many other thing comes up.
sigh why must life be like such.
but i am not going to let anything affect me.
i have so much of planning to do for my childcare.
alot of lessons and all.
but i am going to enjoy it.
seems so fun.
the center's theme is on food.
yum yum.
so many activities are on my mind now.

i am happy mok is getting better now.
geni i am so sorry gal i've been busy with work.
but i know u are strong.
no matter what i love u ok.
jacq thanks for the sharing.
really appreciate it alot.
muacks to all of u.
making me smile always.
[b e a u t i f u l a n g e l]





- Saturday, May 27, 2006 `x



i just realised some facts.
i have been really sad and thinking about it.
today was the day that i managed to find out.
i plucked up my courage and sent a msg to annah in msn.
guess it was for the better.
then we cleared things,
and i found out alot of stuff.
sighs.
anw just be happy k.
wish that everything will be normal.
i miss those times when i could just talk to u so carefree.
i really treated u like my own brother.
ya happiness is all that matters.

anw all my brothers in my life.
even those who were not my real ones,
always treated their gf better than me.
my own brothers too.
they will always protect their gf.
but to me their happiness is all that matters.
even if it means to sacrifice talking or wat so ever.

i am feeling so down.
chest is so heavy.
it hurts so bad.
i feel its all my fault.
i shld not have even said anything.
u know sometimes i really feel that caring for the people close to me is very wrong.
it hurts me deep inside.
i feel i am to be blamed for everything that has happened.
i wish i was not even in those ppl's lives.
i ruined everything.
i just realised how much damaged i have caused.
to me i din do anything wrong,
but others thinks otherwise.
i am just so sorry to those whom i have hurt so much.
i am so sorry.
i will stay as far as i can,
so that i wun hurt u further.
the words are still in my head.

no matter what i still love u alot.
no one is ever going to take that feeling away from my heart.
i will pray for u always.
missing u so darn much.
muacks.
u know one happy moment i can think of clearly is when we went cheekys,
and u carried me in the club and took a pic.
after that we went ragaawoods.
those were wonderful memories i will treasure forever.
i just wanna thank God for allowing me to have at least one happy and unforgettable memory with u.
and to have known u in my life,
i must be so lucky.
love u always.
muacks.
[b e a u t i f u l a n g e l]





- Friday, May 26, 2006 `x



love is wonderful and it can hurt too.
sigh i have a few friends who are mending their hearts now from their heartbreak.
i really know how that feels.
it hurts so bad.
i dun really know how to cheer u up,
but all i can say is that its all just tests by God.
he is always watching and guiding although he gives u all the probs.
just take it as it comes and be strong.
i know its easier said than done,
but i went through i rough time before too.
before i know it,
it was much better.
cause i picked myself up.
the more u go into the sadness,
the more worst it gets.
u are just drowning yaself.
pick yaself up.
lead ya lives normally.
you shld be strong for yaself.

for example,
i had not picked myself up after my previous relationship,
i would not have found a wonderul and loving bf i have now.
i am so glad i made my decision and stood strong.
cause if i dint make that decision,
i wld have been very miserable with no one there for me when i am down.
i would not have had a person who protects and loves me so much.
i love my babyboy so much.
i really thank god for bringing him back in my life.
i have never been happier.
although we have many probs,
we still overcome it as we stand strong together.
he may not be well educated or someone big,
but i am still so proud of him.
cause his love is much greater than all that.
he makes me happy with watever he has.
and i am happy with that too.
thanks dada for everything.
u are my life.
[b e a u t i f u l a n g e l]






morning i had driving.
from 8-9.40am
driving was good.
feeling nervous but confident i will do alright.
after driving i saw sindy and ziwen at bbdc.
so shocked.
but stood there talking to them a while.
after that i headed back home.
on the way home,
i passed a primary sch which was having recess.
then i saw this grp of chn who were playing,
and they were showing team work and all.
they were trying to help their friends whp were stuck down the slope.
they were like trying lots of ways to get them up.
it was so nice to see.
i came home and slept.
i was so tired.
i woke up and watched csi.
i missed it yesterday as i was out wid baby.
then i watched this cartoon which reminded me of mok.
there was this character in the cartoon which looked like him,
cause of his hair.
and the face also look so similar.
so cute.

after that baby was suppose to come see me.
but it was raining so he took a longer time.
then we went to meet vinod.
we watched x-men.
yay.
it was nice.
i think there will be another episode.
u watch then u will understand why i say that.
i enjoyed myself alot.
saw uma also.
first time meeting her but i can click with her.
i am so proud of myself,
cause almost every gal i meet with the grp,
they will all be smoking except me.
i am so happy.
i love my life.
i am not looking down on anyone or watso ever.
just being happy i am who i am.


these baby pics are so cute.
so i decided to share it with all of u.



[b e a u t i f u l a n g e l]







[b e a u t i f u l a n g e l]





- Wednesday, May 24, 2006 `x



Happy 20 Months Anniversary Baby.

today i had a very good sleep.
it was so wonderful.
anw i woke up at 10.30am.
then decided to get ready and go school to meet genieve.
she din tell me that she was going to be in sch early.
hmph but nvm.
anw i went to school and saw her.
so happy.
i think its been 2 weeks since i saw her.
i love her so much.
missed her so much too.
chatted wid geni and kayya.
very nice time i had.
mok is such a bum.
he keeps getting teased by so many people.
poor boy.
anw i saw sharon,
then headed for class.

class was alright.
was very cold in class today.
sharon, misha and myself,
we were suppose to have an outing on friday.
but sharon has work so we are not going.
instead they wanted to go today,
but i cant make it cause i am going out wid baby.
after class,
baby was not ready yet so i followed my gals.

we went to Adam Rd food center.
we had sting ray, noodles and chicken chop.
yum yum.
after some time,
baby came and met us there.
baby had some prob wid camp so we headed back to his hse first.
the camp came to his hse or something like that la.
poor baby.
we were at his house for some time.
after that we left and went to meet vinod in town.

upon meeting him,
i just laughed my heart out.
haha.
hmph that guy ah.
shiny things all over his face.
so cute la he.
nvm i shall not write details.
as long as i know what he did its good enuff.
we were suppose to watch X-men,
but then the cinema were full and the first row was the only vaccant ones.
so we did not watch.
we went to eat at NYDC instead.
i had a nice time.
vinod is such a bum.
he actually did a monkey face,
i took a pic of it,
but he is a damn whimp that deleted it.
darn ass bum.
its ok i still can remember that face.
so funny.
i am laughing as i think of it.

uma is back in s'pore.
i spoke to her a little.
she has the indian accent.
wierd but i understand it.
anw cant wait to meet her.

i had a wonderful time.
i am loving every moment i spend with my baby.
muacks.
you are my life dada.
u make me so happy.
never been this happy with anyone else in my life.
my angel.
my supporter.
my everything.
thanks for everything ma.
you have made my life so much nicer.
u just make me smile no matter what.
i never wanna loose u.


on my way to school.
perfect shot.


baby and i trying to be angry & sad,
but we just had to smile.
hehe.


20 months of love and happiness.
i am loving it.
dinner at NYDC.


we just love each other so much.
look into my eyes and see how much i love u.


so interested in eating my mudpie.
yummy.


classic shot.
after dinner at NYDC.


vinod caught on camera.
dun know wats wrong with his lips also.
[b e a u t i f u l a n g e l]





- Tuesday, May 23, 2006 `x



i was very troubled today.
i tired to laugh it out and all but i was still not very happy inside.
i doubt anyone cld even see that.

anw after school i met baby.
i was so happy after that.
i cried in his arms.
he is always forgiving.
i know my baby so well.
sorry dada.
muacks ma.
really appreciatiate u loving me after all that we have been through.
i love u so much.
its endless.
thanks for making me understand so many things.
u are my eye-opener.
i love u da so much.

ya hugs and kisses can cure anything in me.
nothing else i want.
muacks.
i never want anyone else except u da.
i am sorry for everything.
u made me stronger.
[b e a u t i f u l a n g e l]





- Monday, May 22, 2006 `x



i had a wonderfully long day today.
but i enjoyed my whole day except the very last part of it.
anw i went to sch a little late,
cause i headed to tekka first to do my eyebrow.
i was abt 15 mins late but its ok.
i had loads of fun in school.
misha, sharon and myself were talking n talking.
hmph.
i like it like that.
its been long since i felt like tat wid the both of them.
we have planned to go eat at Newton tis friday.
not so sure yet cause have to wait and see how much misha gets for her pay.

it was raining just before sch ended.
baby was suppose to come pick me up,
but then his place started to rain so i just decided to go on home myself.
on my way home,
i had a very sharp pain in my chest esp near my heart.
i always have this pain when i know something is going to happen.
i decided not to think anything abt it,
as it will make me hurt more.

i came home had my shower and got ready to go for my cousin's engagement.
i wanted to wear my punjabi suit and i did.
yay.
we waited for uncle chia to come pick us up.
i had a small misunderstanding wid daddy but nvm abt that.
anw mummy made me so happy.
i was wondering how to ever tell her abt the situation but she just said it and made me happy.
i told her that my dream of getting married in a church is gone,
but i'll just do it simply in ROM.
she said yes and also she said go and take pictures with wedding gown, indian and malay costume.
i was so happy to hear that.

uncle chia came and pick us up.
its hard to see my cousins these days as we haev our own busy lives,
but at least i can get to see them at functions.
i wish i had more time too so that i can meet up wid my cousins.
so many things to cope with.
sigh.
anw i am going to be my cousin mary's bridesmaid.
yayness.
missed her so much.
she looks so pretty.
i took loads of pics there.
hehe.
thats what i do best eh?

we left the place at about 10pm.
uncle roy sent us back in the lorry.
i was sitting behind wid andrew bro.
we were talking abt life and his school and all.
he is my 'husband' in indian way.
but i love him so much.
he has been calling me wife since i was young.

anw when i was back home,
i wished i was never alive.
i just hated life so much at that point of time.
i had so much of work to do,
yet so little time.
i have no one to turn to.
everyone i love was like changing.
oh maybe i was the one changing so much.
sigh.
i hate it so much.
why things have to be so bitter??

my god will guide me through all this.
he never fails me.
he never did and never will.
i will try to be strong.
i am never going to let her destroy my life.
i will not evem let the thought of her destroy my life.


my lil bf and me.
emmanual is his name.


my husband and myself.
he trying so hard to keep his eyes open.


maxi and me.
trying to do stupid faces.


my mummy and me.
she trying to be funny.


my cousin, her husband and me.
their engagement.


my beautiful cousin and me.
she is sick on her engagement day.
poor angel.


me trying to act funny.
hehe i think can pass off as it eh??


me all set and ready to leave my hse.
i feel good.



[b e a u t i f u l a n g e l]





- Sunday, May 21, 2006 `x



early in the morning at about 3.20am,
i woke up feeling so scared.
i had a very bad dream.
it was kinda funny yet scary.
there was this aeroplane which was carrying a ship.
i have no idea why,
but it was carrying the ship.
and suddenly the ship fell into the water causing a major wave.
then the plane tried to carry the ship again,
but this time the ship fell onto a part of S'pore.
it caused a massive destruction.
i was so scared and very sad too cause i was only with my daddy.
i knew my mum was at home all alone,
and i so felt liek seeing her.
i din know where my both brothers were either.
then when i turned my head,
i saw my mum.
but i was still so scared.
it was as though my whole life is going to be ripped apart.
i just woke up and started crying.
i called baby and he was trying to calm me down.
then after a while i was ok.
i prayed and went back to sleep.

when i went back to sleep again,
i dreamt of something else.
it was a sweet dream.
i dreamt that i was out with baby, annah and some others,
and i was sad for some reason.
then annah saw me standing one side,
he came and said sorry and kissed my forehead.
it was all ok alr.
he said he realised everything and all.
i was so happy.
he hugged me and everything came bakc to normal.
but when i woke up,
i realised it was just a dream.
how i wish it was really true.
sigh.

i woke up at about 10am.
then started to do my brother's work for him.
after that i realised that baby was here in telok blangah.
he din even tell me anything.
i actually found out from nessa that he was here.
but when i asked him,
he denied and kept lying.
i felt so pissed,
but then i understood his intentions.
sorry baby.
i love u so much.
met baby, vinod, damien and steph at the 24 hours to eat.
after all the food,
vinod and i took a bus to suntec,
while baby rode there.

we bought the 7.30pm movie for Poseidon.
then we went walking around suntec.
baby, vinod and i played datona.
first game vinod was first, baby second and me third.
vinod cheated in this game.
ass.
second game baby first, vinod second and me third again.
tiem flew very fast and soon we headed to the cinema.
the movie is good.
when i was watching it,
i felt like it ws somehow similar to my dream or i can call it nightmare.
but the movie is good.
people u should go and watch it,
cause its worth ya money.
i feel its a little better than titanic.

after movie we sat down at coffee bean a while.
then headed home.
i enjoyed my day totally.
i love u so much babyboy.
maucks my love.
my guiding angel.


after lunch at 24 hours.
i just cant resist his kisses.
so delicious.


after watching Poseidon.
darn good movie.


baby and me.
chilling at coffee bean.


my sleepy babyboy.
so tired and not well too.


he is so yummylicious.
yum yum.
slurps.


baby looks like kolar bear.
so cute.
my boboy.
[b e a u t i f u l a n g e l]





- Saturday, May 20, 2006 `x



i am missing all the good times.
i am missing what life really means.
i am just thinking how to solve my current situation.
i am happy with my relationship.
i am most content.
i am confused though with everything that is happening at this current moment.
its the toughest problem i am going to face or lets say facing now,
cause i have never been through such things.
all i know is that GOD is never going to forsake me.
my love is strong,
and i am strong.
but the evil can take over.
i am still standing strong.
no matter what comes,
i will stand steadfast and protect my baby and loved ones.
u are never going to take my baby away from me.
are u not ashamed??
u alr have someone with you,
who u actually did something to.
and now u want my babyboy??
dream on sucker!!
i will never let that happen.
my faith is so much stronger.
no matter what kinds of evil u do,
you will never achieve what u want.
my baby will never fall for u.
dun u get it.
u will never get the love u really want cause u are doing a major sin.
and thats going to back fire.
i am not cursing u.
its just what u have done to yaself.
i really hate u.
if u ever do anything to harm anyone i love,
mark my words i will get u.
dun push me to my limits.
u have not seen the true me.
so just back off and lead ya own life.
[b e a u t i f u l a n g e l]







[b e a u t i f u l a n g e l]







[b e a u t i f u l a n g e l]





- Friday, May 19, 2006 `x



today i had only one hour of class.
and during class my lecturer gave us the centers that we will be attached to this sem.
i am so happy cause i am going to go back to the same center.
Wesley Child Development Center.
yayness.
we were watching a video in class,
and the children were very cute.
one of the boy was playing doctor and he used one of the blocks as a thermometer and checked the temperature of his friend.
then the teacher asked him if the temp is ok.
and he said no its not.
not a very gd sign actually.
so cute.
then he said we need to fix her up.
*laughs*

ok after sch misha, sharon n i stayed back to do our project and to have lunch as well.
after doing the project,
i headed to causeway point.
wanted to surprise my angel.
i actually wanted to make it on time during her lunch break but cld not.
so i just went to her work place.
she seemed so happy.
i was too cause i was suppose to meet her on wed and thrus but cld not make it.
so i was happy too.
anw i was looking at the clothes in the department,
its all so cute.
oh my when i have kids,
i will dress them up so nice.
they had socks and mittens that were so tiny.
so cute.
i cant wait to have my own kid.
yay.
i love u sweets.

after that i went to baby's hse.
and i actually found out something.
i was and still am very sad.
aiyah.
why are people like that.
i am really very depressed.
anw baby was there to console me.
i love u so much da.
i was suppose to go for driving but i din cause my heart was so heavy and painful.
i still cld not accept the fact that,
that particular thing has happened.
after some time,
baby sent me back home.
we stayed wid kavinesh and damien at the shelter for some time and then we both headed home.

i hate you!!
i really do.
if i ever see u again,
i really dun know what i will do.
i dun know why u are still alive!!
why do u do this??
why cant u love a person in the normal way??
do u have to do something to gain the person's love or wat??
oh my,
whats the world coming to.
i dun know what to do.
i have no idea how to handle this kind of situation,
but i know that GOD will give me the strength.
i need to protect my baby.
i am not going to let that BITCH take him away from me.
i know u like him,
and i am never going to let anything happen to him.
mark my words,
for what you have done,
HE is watching and u will be judged.
i am very disappointed with life.
very very sad that i am encountering this situation.
but i am strong.
you wun bring me down BITCH.
i will do anything just to save my baby and everyone i love.
i will stay strong and kill u with that will power.
i hate you and just thinking abt u makes my blood boil.
arghh..



[b e a u t i f u l a n g e l]





- Thursday, May 18, 2006 `x



today i was watching National Geographic channel.
i came across this documentry about animals having sex.
the tittle was 'Wild Sex'
it was really amazing the facts of animals mating.
it was funny as well.
there was this male baboon who was chasing after this particular female baboon for 3 hours.
and that female baboon turned him down 43 times in that 3 hours.
and after that they showed how his penis shrunk!!
haha it was funny la.
i dun think its disgusting cause its nature.
they even showed how bees mate.
after ejaculating,
the male bee will sing a song to the female with the buzzing sound,
which actually turns the female's sex drive off,
so that she will behave and not mate with any other male.
they also showed how sharks mate, birds mate and many more
but cause my mum was watching her tamil drama i could not watch that.
its all very interesting.
[b e a u t i f u l a n g e l]





- Wednesday, May 17, 2006 `x



when i was on my way to school today,
i saw a guy riding on a bicycle.
then he was trying to turn when he just fell to the ground in the middle of the road.
i was so shocked.
but i saw it for a few seconds,
din manage to see if he got up well,
cause the bus moved off.

anw in school i was trying my very best to keep awake.
i dun know why but my eyes were so heavy and keeps shutting.
but i just tried every way to keep awake.

after class i headed to baby's house.
i just felt like being with him.
so i went there.
no one was at home except baby.
then after some time mummy and nessa came home.
i just like to play wid nessa.
i just feel i can relate to her.
anw i was talking to mummy about so many things.
shawn's camp and all.
i am so tired.
then after some time daddy came back to.
he was talking about spirits and all.
it was kinda scary but i like to listen.

baby sent me home.
then he went to m'sia to top up petrol.
i love baby so much.
anw i was so tired that i checked my mail and went to lie on my bed.
i just knocked out on my bed.
baby called me when he reached home.
spoke to him for a while then went to slp.
i love baby so much.

praying for someone to wake up and know whats happening now.
to realise that he is moving away from his loved ones.
that he is becoming someone so different tat his loved ones cant relate to anymore.
i am sad.
but i can only pray.
pls come back.
u need to wake up and know whats really happening.
think for yaself dun let anyone else manipulate u.
i love u so much,
that u cant even understand.
pls come back.
you are not yaself anymore.
its really hard to see u like that.
[b e a u t i f u l a n g e l]





- Tuesday, May 16, 2006 `x



today i was suppose to meet misha and sharon to do project,
but in the end we just discussed online.
baby sent me to school.
i was very irritated when class started.
now our classes are much bigger.
its 2 classes together.
the C class and the D class.
the C class ppl always does something to look down on us or just try to show that they are much better.
today when class started,
everyone was making so much of noise,
and one of the C class gal said,
"People class has started can you keep quiet?''
I was so annoyed.
u know they think that they are much bigger than us and all.
come on la.
u are in the same course as us la.
anw i just hate the big class cause we cant be ourselves.
we cant ask or joke ard like normal.
aiyah just hate it so much.
its like so much of hatred and all in the class.

anw mok i have something to frame u up wid eh??
so dun forget.
hehe.
dun worry i not so bad la.
baby came and pick me up after school.
then we went to 24hrs and ate.
was very hungry.
then i came home and slept.

woke up and did some project stuff.
did my part of the work.
i am feeling darn tired.
but after a while i went to meet baby.
i always enjoy myself when i am with my baby no matter who is ard.
as long as my baby is there,
i will enjoy mayself.

anw i am getting pissed with people.
who the hell are u to talk abt people?
you wanna act all innocent??
you write and talk abt people you loathe,
when u actually say u want them out of ya life.
pls la make up ya damn mind??
u talk abt someone so badly but did u look at yaself first??
u are just bigger everytime i see you.
dun act cute cause u are not.
u force yaself too much that it becomes so annoying to even watch.
pls la no one wants to be like u.
you are a fat B***H.
dun think so highly of yaself.
u wanna talk right??
i also can do the same thing.
you say she is so thin that people can see through her,
but you are so fat that u block other's view.
i know i am stooping to ya level now.
but it does not get in ya head.
pls la u wanna confront me come on la.
what u waiting for??
why u so scared is it??
i dun care how big u are,
i aint scared at all.
you wanna show attitude,
i can too!!
and dun show off and all,
cause its not going to buy u fame or popularity!!
ppl are just going to hate you.
you are never genuine.
the sight of u just disgusts me.
you wanna blog abt someone,
blog abt someone u really want in ya life,
dun waste ya time blogging on a person u actually wanna forget,
cause they cant be bothered abt you.
F**K OFF.
stop taking control of people.
and i am not getting jealous by anything u say.
u are just a copycat.
like i said u were never original!!
get a life woman,
oh sorry wrong word used.
get a life immature B***H!!
act ya age pls.
so old already yet wanna be so childish!!
haha why wanna show ppl u can be young is it??
pls la ok.
grow up la.
annoying piece of dumbass!!
no one is buying ya act.
not try too much to make connections,
or show ya presence cause its not working.
ppl just dun think u exist.
stop trying to make other ppl's life miserable when urs is actually going down the drain.
when we say we dun want u in our lives,
we mean it unlike u.
wanna act as if everything is fine and dandy.
nothing will be changed no matter how hard you try.
so just f*** off and lead ya own life.

i dun want u in mine.
you disgust me by just the slightest thing said or wat so ever.
get lost.
u are not worthy of anything.

[b e a u t i f u l a n g e l]





- Sunday, May 14, 2006 `x



Today i watched 'Raising Helen'.
i really liked the movie.
after the movie i went to have a short nap.
then i called mok's phone,
and spoke to laxhmi.
i cleared everything with her.
i dun forget things but i did forgive.
anw after the long long talk,
i got ready to head to church.
mum went there first then i left later.
mum told me and my second brother something,
which made me so angry.
but i dun know how true is that.
ok anw baby and vinod came to meet me at church.
they are following my family to dinner.
i went with my eldest brother and parents in the car,
while vinod went with baby.

we went to Seoul Garden at Marina Square.
we took some time just to get there,
firstly cause the car park was so full,
and secondly Seoul Garden was so far away from the car park.
at last we reached the place.
i was so hungry.
i kinda felt like fainting since i was in church alr.
maybe cause i din eat lunch.
i had a very fun time during dinner.
it was nice.
i love it when there are many opportunities for baby to bond wid my family.
my second brother din come with us cause he is vegetarian.
i enjoyed myself so much.

after dinner,
baby sent vinod till telok blangah and he went home from there.
i followed my parents in the car home.
my parents and eldest bro was heading to ashoka after that.
i din go with them cause i din want to.
i stopped clubbing long time ago alr.
baby then came to my hse.
he was watching me play yahoo game and was so amazed.
after some time mummy left cause my bro came to pick her up.
i spent time with baby.
i love it when i get quality time with him.
i was telling him all my probs and all.
he was so good to give me his shoulder to cry on.
he took care of me so much.

then we went down to meet Kavinesh, Stephen and Damien.
Kavinesh was so free at home then he was trying to make his own sheesha.
when i saw all his equipments,
i really felt he was so darn free.
haha.
so cute la he.
anw we headed to Stream Garden and then experimented on Kavinesh's sheesha.
we tried many things but it din really work out.
Stephen din wanna give up no matter what.
cause once there was a little smoke coming out,
BUT in the end he just gave up.
while we were actually trying it out,
Chicha and his friend came again,
bringing another stupid bike.
dun know where he gets the bike also.
arghh.
from the moment he came,
i was so darn irritated with him.
i knew he wld say something abt us trying to make our own sheesha,
and he did.
later on that stupid ass also followed us.
and he was so proud of his stupid invention that no one was intrested in except Damien.
after some time,
he and the friend went to the bike and started riding ard.
they were making so much noice at 3 plus in the morning.
the bike was so darn noisy.
and they also wanna drag when its a short road.
when baby told them not to make so much noise,
he asked baby to wait.
STUPID!!
anw when we we were walking back home,
there were petrol cars rounding.
i wish one of them would catch the stupid ass.
arghh.
when we reached the shelter,
Chicha hid the bike behind the shelter in case police came.
after baby sent me home,
police screened the guys there,
BUT he was caught still.
aiyah i give up on him la.
anw i waited for baby to reach stephen's hse then i slept.


Happy Mothers' Day Mummy.
i love u so much.
i wanna thank you for everything that u have done for me.
muacks my wonder woman!!
i love u endlessly!

laxhmi pls think before u do anything anymore.
you are old enuff and responsible for ya actions.
question first before assuming.
god bless u in ya life and decisions u make.
you make ya life not anyone else.

baby thanks for everything u have done for me.
thanks for being there for me.
i love u so much.
i enjoyed myself with u so much.



mummy and me at seoul garden.


babe and me posing like the advertisment on bods body nits shop.


baby and me after our satisfying dinner.
muacks.


muacks to the both of u.


me posing for a pic,
while waiting for my brother.
too dark so cld not see the esplanade.
[b e a u t i f u l a n g e l]





- Saturday, May 13, 2006 `x

Kavinesh eating his food.

caught on camera.

Baby smoking sheesha.

sexy boy.

Stephen chilling out in the comfy pillows and smoking sheesha.

Damien smoking sheesha.

So style eh??

Small kid he.

[b e a u t i f u l a n g e l]





- Friday, May 12, 2006 `x



i am getting damn pissed with you!!
you are not a fashion person,
neither are u a person i wanna turn to.
you really disgust me.
come on cant u be original??
pls la get ya own style and words to say!!
i thought u were nice or something,
BUT you are changing my impression of u.
arghh.
i am really getting sick of ya nonsense.
damn u man!!
get lost from my life!!
ppl are not fond of ya style or wat so ever.
get it in ya head.
go get a life of your own!
seriously get a life!!
[b e a u t i f u l a n g e l]






Little Johnny was 7 years old
and like
other boys
his age rather
curious.

He had been hearing quite a bit
about 'making out'
from the older boys, and he wondered
what it was
and how it was done.

One day he took his question to his
mother, who
became rather flustered. Instead of
explaining
things to Johnny, she told him to hide
behind the
curtains one night and watch his older
sister and
her boyfriend.

This he did. The following morning,
Johnny
described EVERYTHING to his mother.

"Sis and her boyfriend sat and talked for
a while,
then he turned off most of the lights.
Then he
started kissing and hugging her. I
figured 'Sis must
be getting sick, because her face started
looking
funny.

He must have thought so too, because he
put his
hand inside her blouse to feel her heart,
just the
way the doctor would. Except he's not as
smart as
the doctor because he seemed to have
trouble
finding her heart. I guess he was getting
sick too,
because pretty soon both of them started
panting
and getting all out of breath.

His other hand must have been cold
because he
put it under her skirt.

About this time 'Sis got worse and began
to moan
and sigh and squirm around and slide
down
toward
the end of the couch. This was when her
fever
started. I knew it was a fever, because Sis
told him
she felt really hot.

Finally, I found out what was making
them so
sick......-a big eel ;had gotten inside his
pants
somehow. It just jumped out of his pants
and
stood there, about 10 inches long,
honest, anyway
he grabbed it in one hand to keep it from
getting
away.

When Sis saw it, she got really scared-her
eyes
got big, and her mouth fell open, and
she started
calling out to God and stuff like that. She
said it
was the biggest one she's ever seen; I
should tell
her about the ones down at the lake by
our house!

Anyway, Sis got brave and tried to kill the
eel by
biting its head off. All of a sudden she
grabbed it
with both hands and held it tight while he
took a
muzzle out of his pocket and slipped it
over the
eel's head to keep it from biting again.

Sis lay back and spread her legs so she
could get
a scissor-lock on it and he helped by lying
on top
of the eel. The eel put up a hell of a
fight.

Sis started groaning and squealing and
her
boyfriend almost upset the couch. I guess
they
wanted to kill the eel by squashing it
between
them.

After a while they both quit moving and
gave a
great sigh. Her boyfriend got up, and sure
enough,
they killed the eel. I knew because it just
hung
there, limp, and some of its insides were
hanging
out.

Sis and her boyfriend were a little tired
from the
battle, but they went back to courting
anyway. He
started hugging and kissing her again. By
golly,
the eel wasn't dead! It jumped straight up
and
started to fight again.

I guess eels are like cats- they have nine
lives or
something. This time, Sis jumped up and
tried to
kill it by sitting on it. After about a 35
minute
struggle, they finally killed the eel. I knew
it was
dead, because I saw Sis's boyfriend peel
its skin
off and flush it down the toilet.
[b e a u t i f u l a n g e l]





- Thursday, May 11, 2006 `x



yay!!
i've been waiting for this day,
cause i am going to meet an angel.
but first i headed to tekka to get my eyebrows done.
after that i went to city hall to take a train to town.
then i saw genieve in the train.
if i had taken a bus i wld have been early and waiting for her.

anw we alighted at somerset and bought some food at the 7-eleven.
then we sat at starbucks and ate our food.
i bought a drink from there,
otherwise we will not be able to sit there.
from the moment we met,
we have been talking non-stop.
i love it like that.
i always feel so comfortable when i am with her.
we were just talking about some ppl.
but they are actually unworthy to speak of.

baby kept msging me asking where am i and who i was with.
i had a feeling he was coming to surprise me.
i just had a strong feeling he was going to do that.
and then i was talking to geni and she suddenly said 'Your BF!'
i turned ard and i saw no one but i heard key noise.
cause baby always hangs his keys on his jeans and this is how i know if he is ard or not.
when i turned again after a few seconds,
he was walking towards us.
i was so happy.
see i know his intentions.
muacks my baby.
i am happy u came.
u always make me happy.

after some time vinod also joined us.
baby and vinod always doing nonsense.
so funny.
anw after some time mokan came and met us.
he was so quiet.
maybe first time and all so he just kept quiet.
but i never fail to disturb him.
hehe.
i had a great time.

we were all hungry so we headed to ps.
we went to eat at macs.
something funny happened there.
Mokan was eating and he smudged some curry sauce on his lips accidently.
it was so funny.
i think i was the only one who saw what had happened.
anw something more hilarious was happening in macs.
there was this guy who was using a shaver and shaving his beard and all.
can u imagine someone doing it in macs??
and we saw a lady who was kinda big in size,
and was wearing a very low neck lace top.
her breast was also quite big,
and she kept pulling her top up so many times.
aiyo it was kinda annoying la.

ok after eating we wanted to play pool.
we went to a pool place beside park mall but it was very crowded,
so we headed to meridian to play.
on the way there,
i saw gurpreet, amalina and press (my sec sch friends).

genieve din wanna play so she just sat and watched us play.
first game i played with vinod.
it has been long since i played pool.
i played and i lost the first game.
then the next game i played i won.
i played against vinod and i won.
haha.
i am back in business my man.
anw i played against mokan and i won also.
but when i played against baby,
i lost cause he and vinod cheated.
the told me that my balls are are solid but it was actually not.
aiyah anw it was a great game.
we played a last pair game.
vinod and baby were a pair and i paired up with mokan.
haha.
it was a wonderful game.
mokan and i won the game!
yayness!!

then we headed to ps back again.
baby had his bike parked there,
genieve and mokan took the mrt back home.
i left first as my bus had arrived alr.

on the bus i felt terrible.
my head was killing me.
i dun know why but i was having a piercing pain on the right side of my head.
i controlled till i reached home.
when i was home i felt like vomiting.
maybe it was cause i was hunry as we ate quite early.
but i took panadol and tried to control.
after that i drank milk.
i felt a little better.

i watched super nanny.
i am very shocked at how the kids treat their parents.
this is the 3rd episode a kid is calling their mum a BITCH!!
oh my.
i mean if my kid was to say that,
i dun knwo what i wld have done.
anw next week's episode,
another kid will scold her mum a BITCH!!

after super nanny i went to lie down and was talking to baby.
when i was talking to baby,
i felt like vomiting and i went to vomit.
after vomiting my head was so painful again.
damn man.
but its ok.
baby was so nice.
i know if he was beside me,
he will take real good care of me.

anw i enjoyed my day endlessly.
i love u all loads.
cant wait to go out more.
thanks u all.
missing u so much genieve.
my angel.
muacks.
mok sorry for blogging abt the macs thingy,
and pls talk more the next time k.
no need to ACT shy all.
haha and u owe me a dance eh dun forget.

baby missing u so much.
wish i can be in ya arms now.
my baby so poor thing.
so tired and not feeling well also.
muacks ok.
dun worry so much.

vinod STOP being an ass.
but i still love u.
maucks.

the angel who never fails to me make smile.

[b e a u t i f u l a n g e l]





- Wednesday, May 10, 2006 `x



at last i am back to sch.
i feel so much better.
even if i am sick i dun think i can take mc or miss sch again.
another day of missing sch and i will be over the 15 or 20 percent.
anw sch was good.
felt a little tired still but i loved it all.

i met sharon and misha to start on our project work.
misha came late,
so while waiting for her,
sharon was teaching or more like explaining to me all that i have missed.
i am very thankful to have wonderful course/classmates/friends like the both of them.
anw when misha came,
we started on the project.
it was kinda hard actually.
but we managed to pull it off quite well.
anw both of them were sitting infront of me in canteen 1,
where the music was kinda loud and was lunch time.
SO i was not able to hear what they were discussing abt the project,
CAUSE both of them speak so softly by nature.
but i was trying my best to read their lips and figure it out.
watever it is i enjoyed my day.
thanks sweeties.
muacks.

after sch i waited for baby to come fetch me.
we headed to my hse first.
hmph baby wanted to go swimming to train for his test.
so i thought to tag along.
so i changed and we went to eat first.
we met Kavi, Damien and Jerimiah at 24hours.
we ate and headed to Bodoh's Pondoh!!
~haha~
there annah and his gf were also sitting down.
wonder why they came but not my business.
anw it was really funny.

we left telok blangah at about 8pm i guess.
then headed to MountFaber Safra.
Damien, Jeri, Baby and i.
it was really fun swimming.
i haven gine swimming in a long time.
but it was nice.
Jerim kept disturbing Damien.
baby was practicing trapping water.
poor baby so tired.
anw Damien won me and Jeri as he could stay in the water the longest.
so cute la he.
i had fun.

after swimming we head back to 24 hours to have dinner.
i shared with baby food.
was not really hungry.
then Stephen, Suresh and his gf joined us.
after some time all of us left.
i walked home,
while baby went back home.

i am so darn tired.
my muscles are aching cause of the swimming.
but its shiok.
nice nice.
i enjoyed swimming esp with baby.
muacks dada.
i love u so much.

anw ppl i actually went to find some info about shisha.
so if u interested,
click on the word shisha and it will lead u to that page.


[b e a u t i f u l a n g e l]






today i was still not feeling well,
so i decided to make full use of my mc.
i went to meet baby at ammama hse.
everyone was there,
cause one of his aunt is moving back to her place and they are helping.
anw i was teaching bella and nessa,
cause they are going to have math exam.
after that we met Kavi and the rest of the grp.
it was raining so heavily.
then went to have dinner.
when i got home in the evening,
i found out that someone close to my heart is reading my blog.
i was so happy when i found that out.
anw this is the only way i can let the person know how i really feel about everything.
and baby i am not going to change my blog add again!!
i am doing nothing wrong and this is MY blog!!
i have all the right to say or write watever i want to.
as long as i am within the line still.
i know what i am doing.
if people wanna claim being famous in my blog i cant help in.
pls i have better things to do that write or even think about those kind of people.
everyone is not so free like that.

anw thanks baby for everything.
and i am glad i found out who was reading my blog.
muacks to that person also.
i am really missing u and those times we used to spend together.
i wish u knew how i really feel.
no matter what i will still love u and wait for that day that everything becomes alright.

baby thanks for making everyday such a special and loving one.
maucks my dada.
missing u alr.
[b e a u t i f u l a n g e l]





- Monday, May 08, 2006 `x



today i woke up feeling all sick still.
so decided to go consult the doc again.
my body was feeling hot still and i felt like vomiting with the very bad tummy pain.
i went with my aunty and cousin Joavan,
cause he needed to see doc also.
he is having fever and all since he came back from Sabah,
OBS trip.
anw the polyclinic was SUPER crowded!!
arghh they asked us to come back at 2pm.
but luckily my aunt's brain worked fast and she said were very serious and need to see doc immediately.
thank god they allowed us in.
ok let me give u a time check.
we came in to the clinic at 10 plus.
and we only got registered at 11.45am!!!
oh my.
now u know how crowded it was.

i was msging genieve when i was waiting for registration.
i was really touched by what she msged me!
she said if i told her earlier she wld have followed me to see doc.
but i said that she stayed so far and it dumb for her just to come all the way here to accompany me go see a doc.
but she said she i can at least spend time with you also wat.
and she added 'whats more impt than in safeguarding and being ties with ya'.
i was smiling when i saw that msg.
i am really grateful God brought us back together.
not regretting it at all.
i am really happy since the day u came back in my life.
its just blissful.
i never wanna loose this relationship we have.
i love u so much sweetie.
muacks!
cant wait to see u next.
i doubt it will be tml (tues) cause i have 2 day mc.

anw the doc said that i have gastric with gastric flu.
something like that la.
and she gave me lighter medicine cause my stomach is secreting too much acid.
AT LAST i saw a doc who really checked me well and explained to me whats wrong.
the 3 docs i have been to were just plain dumb!!
arghhh!!
anw i am thankful to this doc now.
the doc sent Joavan for blood test,
to check if he has any infection or watsoever cause he just came back from Sabah.
he might be biten by an insect or wat.
when he came out my aunt told me what happened in the room.
my cousin actually rolled up his short sleeve to allow the nurse to take blood from his upper arm.
haha.
so funny la he.
i mean normally people take blood from the veins infront of the elbow,
he wants the nurse to take from his upper arm.
then my aunty was laughing and when she told me i laughed.

i saw Kavinesh at the clinic also.
he came for his dressing for his leg with his mum.
spoke to him a while and then he left.

i am tired now.
wish baby was here to hold me.
missing him so much alr.
muacks dada.
come here soon k.
and hold me tight in ya arms.
my love.

after my wonderful slp,
i saw baby's msg.
he was on his way to meet me.
yay!

anw while i was waiting for him,
i was chatting.
i realised i have not been chatting wid laxhmi for quite some time,
so i did.
and THAT was the biggest mistake!!
i said hi.
and she replied.
after that she said that one of her friend, Barathi (his name)
said i dun look good.
this was her exact words.
i was solost.
i asked what did he mean.
i mean in what way.she kept repeating the same thing.
i was getting pissed so i asked her to put him in the same conversation,
but better still he was beside her.
so i asked him what he meant.
and i said that he was no one passing such comments.
i mean i dun even know him.
even if he was to give me compliments i dun want it at all.
i feel he thinks he is some high up person,
who is so egoistic and LAME!!
thats what i think abt him.
arghhh.

i was so pissed!!
i mean that was so rude!!
anw i cant be bothered.
both laxhmi or that guy can just do watever they want for all i care.
once my opinion of some is up it is!!

baby came.
he kissed me once he reached.
muacks.
he had dinner with me.
i love u so much ma.
u take so good care of me.
my babyboy!!

genieve you are more than a friend to me,
my sister!!
muacks dearest.
(",)
[b e a u t i f u l a n g e l]





- Sunday, May 07, 2006 `x



when i woke up i was feeling much better.
so i headed to ammama's hse.
baby's family and his cousins were there.
anw after some time we left.
then we went to meet Kavinesh, annah, Stephen and Damien at the shelter just beside steph's block.
we planned to go Arab Street again.
so we did go.
we met Vinod there.
we went to the same place
today i ate lamb kabaab with rice.
the lamb was so nice.
yummy.
then we smoked lemon and coka-cola flavoured sheesha today.

i was not feeling too good.
body was kinda hot and feel very nauseated!!
arghh..
but baby was really taking good care of me.
i was lying down on his shoulder and he was stroking my hair.
he was really very loving.
i love him so much.

i am very happy today also,
cause i got to speak with annah a little here and there.
i know baby is really happy.
cause thats what he wants,
for me and annah to be like how we were before.
sighs.
but i am happy things are going slowly.
i love annah still no matter what

i am sad for vinod.
he is having probs with his relationship.
i mean not with his gf but some other probs.
sighs.
dun worry u both,
like i said if u both are meant to be together no one can stop it ok.
just stay strong and carry on with life.
take it as a test.
love u both lots.

baby i am loving u so much.
u take care of me like a little baby.
i know u love me so much.
and i do too.
muacks my love.
i never wanna loose u.
[b e a u t i f u l a n g e l]






the whole day i was just at home.
my tummy is too pain.
whatever i eat just comes out.
darn man.
its so annoying.
cant take the pain anymore.

anw in the late evening baby came to meet me.
we wanted to go watch movie,
but it was all so full!!
so i think most prob sunday we will go see.
so we headed back to telok blangah.
we met Damien, Stephen and Kavinesh.
Kavinesh was telling me about something that happened at an Irish Bar when he was there.

he said that there was these 2 'ang moh' couple sitting near him.
then one of the couple was kinda drunk.
the lady took off her top when she was in the bar!!
haha..
then the guy took her opp the road to a park.
there she took off her top again.
one moment the both of them will be fighting and scolding F**K YOU, F**K OUT OF My LIFE and the next they will be smooching!!
it happened a few times.
then the guy zipped down his pants and pee'd near the tree.
and the gal was sitting on a bench and pee'd also.
Kavinesh thought that she only pulled up her skirt and pee'd,
BUT then,
she actually pulled down her panty and everything could be seen!!

oh my god!!
i was laughing so loudly!
it was so funny!
i mean they were so drunk that they din know ppl could see what was happening!
ok i am being mean also but they should think what??
haha..
ok ok enough of the laughing eh.

now i am home waiting for baby to reach home.
the weather is so beautiful.
chilling and so romantic.
its a wonderful weather to do so many things.
ummm..
i am going to slp long long cause its so nice.
ppl enjoy the weather!!
[b e a u t i f u l a n g e l]





- Saturday, May 06, 2006 `x



my second brother went to temple today.
he is doing some prayers.
anw when he was carrying the oil lamp today,
a woman's hair caught fire cause of his lamp.
it was no one's fault actually.
the woman lost alot of hair.
so poor thingy.
when he came home and told my mum,
she said that maybe the woman was suppose to offer some of her hair cause she might have asked something from God.
But maybe she din offer,
so the God took it in this way.
i feel so bad for the woman.
if my hair was burnt,
arghhh i'll freak out!!

just now geni and i was talking about something that was kinda affecting us.
i really feel kinda annoyed and uneasy about it.
but everyone is diff.
like how mok said in his entry,
diff character and personality.
thats so true.
BUT you need to know how to adapt.
aiyah so sick of all this la.
got this so many times in life alr.

[b e a u t i f u l a n g e l]






i just came home from a indecisive and long outing.
first baby came and meet me at my place at about 8pm.
then Kavinesh and Stephen came down to meet us also.
we then heard the news that annah and his gf were heading to telok blangah.
baby decided that we cld tag along with them all.
so i went back home to change.
when i came down,
annah was alr there with his gf.
he met in a minor accident,
where he had hit a taxi from the back.
anw he was having some argument which lead to the delay of heading for our destination.
after some time,
Hakkim, Suresh his gf came to meet us.

at last we left telok blangah and headed for Mustafa.
Hakkim needed to get something there.
it was quite crowded in tekka.
i totally forgot that it is a friday.
anw Kavinesh, me and baby did not go into Mustafa while the others went.
we went to 7-eleven to buy a drink.
after some time,
they were done with their stuff.
they took so long just to decide where we shld go and eat.
first they said Lau Pa Sat,
then Marina South,
then railway station,
at LAST they made up their mind and said Arab street.

they wanted to go Arab street to smoke shisha and also eat there.
El-Sheikh was the name of the place.
the place was nice.
calming surrounding.
but the music was kinda annoying.
we finally got a place to sit.
we ordered our food and flavours for shisha.
some of them went to withdraw money while baby went to take his bike.
he wanted to put it nearer to the restuarant.
when the food was ready,
we headed back.
the food was quite nice.
it was fun.
although the atmosphere was a little hostile,
i still enjoyed myself with my baby, Kavinesh, Stephen and Hakkim.
after eating,
baby and i smoked shisha.
it was nice.
so much better than smoking ciggs.
i mean i smoked shisha before alr,
but just one puff.
but trust me this is GOOD!!
anw the bill came up to abt $76 plus for all of us.
Suresh, his gf and Hakkim left much earlier.

we were suppose to meet chicha,
a cousin of Stephen and baby.
but we asked him to meet at telok blangah instead cause we were leaving Arab street alr.
we just left Arab street when a red car stood beside us at the traffic light.
he kept staring at the 3 bikes and we knew he wanted to race.
when the light turned green,
baby sped and actually won the car.
but eventually slowed down and gave in.
it was so annoying.
thats when we saw chicha.
i am not exactly keen in him riding a bike cause he is underage and does not have his licence.
on the way back to telok blangah,
he kept showing off.
i was so pissed.
aiyah dun wanna go to that part.
anw he is an underaged person riding someone else's bike!!
someone do something!!
we headed to telok blangah cresent cause they wanted to buy some booze.

after getting the booze,
we headed to telok blangah hill park.
in our language its called stream garden.

anw if you all did not know,
this is where the 7 year old gal was found in the box.
i think its the huang na.
i dun really know the story but i know its a gal found in a box at that park.

we were just sitting down, joking and talking.
some of them were drinking.
i just sat there listening.
then while i was explaining to Kavinesh how chicha was stylishly riding his bike,
Kavinesh did a demonstration and accidently hit the beer bottle down.
the beer was spilled on my phone which was quickly saved by baby,
and also my sweater!!
thanks alot Kavinesh!!
arghh i hate the smell of beer!!
you better buy me a new casing cause i cant stand the smell of beer on my phone.
anw we still continued talking.
after tat annah was telling some stuff he saw at IMH, Changi Hos and the Red Hse.
and one thing i was so disgusted about was the one abt Pulau Ubin.
its about he and his friends going to the toilet and found that the center cubicle was closed.
due to curiosity,
they went into the cubicle beside it and climbed on the toilet.
and u know WHAT they saw??
arghh..
they saw something (which looks like the one in Lord Of The Rings) eating on sanitary pads containing blood in it.
YUCKS!!
i've heard of this before,
but hearing it again made me so darn sick!!

anw after some time, we left for home.
baby sent me home and headed home.
and now i am sitting here writing all this.
had a great time.
thanks to all.



[b e a u t i f u l a n g e l]





- Friday, May 05, 2006 `x



A first-grade teacher, Ms Jasbeer (Age 28) inPunjab was having troublewith one of her students.
The teacher asked, "Boy, what is your problem?"
Boy answered, "I'm too smart for the first-grade.
My sister is in thethird-grade and I'm smarter than she is!
I think Ishould be in thethird-grade too!"
Ms Jasbeer had enough of him and took Boy tothe principal's office.
While Boy waited outside , the teacher explained to the
principal in officewhat the situation was.
The principal told teacherhe would give the boy atest and if he failed to answer any of his question she was to go back tothe first-grade and behave.
She agreed. Boy wasbrought in and theconditions were explained to him and he agreed totake the test.

Principal:
"What is 3 x 3?"

Boy:
"9".

Principal:
"What is 6 x 6?"

Boy:
"36".

And so it went with every question the principal
thought a third-grade should know.
The principal looks at Ms Jasbeer and tells her,
"I think Boy can go tothe third-grade."
Ms Jasbeer says to the principal,
"I have some of my own questions . Can I ask him ?"
The principal and Boy both agree.

Ms Jasbeer asks,
"What does a cow have four ofthat I have only two of?
Boy, after a moment:
Legs.

Ms Jasbeer :
"What is in your pants that you havebut I do not have?"
Boy:
Pockets.

Ms Jasbeer : What starts with a C and ends with aT, is hairy, oval,delicious and contains thin whitish liquid?
Boy: Coconut

Ms Jasbeer: What goes in hard and pink thencomes out soft And sticky?
The principal's eyes open really wide and before he could stop the answer,Boy was taking charge.
Boy: Bubblegum

Ms Jasbeer : What does a man do standing up, awoman does sitting downand a dog does on three legs?
The principal's eyes open really wide and before he could stop the answer...
Boy: Shake hands

Ms Jasbeer : Now I will ask some "Who am I" sort of questions, okay?
Boy: Yep!!

Ms Jasbeer : You stick your poles inside me. Youtie me down to get me up,get wet before you do.
Boy: Tent

Ms Jasbeer : A finger goes in me. You fiddle with me when you're bored.The best man always has me first.
The Principal was looking restless, a bittense and took one large Patiala Vodka peg.
Boy: Wedding Ring

Ms Jasbeer : I come in many sizes. When I'm notwell, I drip. When youblow me, you feel good.
Boy: Nose

Ms Jasbeer : I have a stiff shaft. My tip penetrates.I come with aquiver.
Boy: Arrow

Ms jasbeer : What word starts with a 'F' and endsin 'K' that means lot of heat and excitement?Boy: Firetruck

Ms Jasbeer: What word starts with a 'F' and endsin 'K' & if u dont get it u have to use ur hand.
Boy: Fork

Ms Jasbeer: What is it that all men have one of it's longer on some menthan on others, the pope doesn't use his and a man gives it to his wife after they're married?
Boy: SURNAMEMs

Jasbeer: What part of the man has no bone buthas muscles, has lots ofveins, like pumping, & is responsible for makinglove
Boy: HEART.

The principal breathed a sigh of relief and said tothe teacher,
" Sendthis Boy to Delhi University, I got the last tenquestions wrong myself !"
[b e a u t i f u l a n g e l]






you know i realised something.
whenever a guy i am close with gets attached,
he moves away from me.
esp my 2 own brothers.
when they get a gf,
i dun exist in their world!
now my baby's brother also like that.
and then now my wonderful friend who used to be so close to me,
is not very much now.
i am always pushed away by the guys in my life.
~sigh~
maybe its just fated to be like that.
anw its ok.
as long i have my baby with me,
i have nothing to worry about.
one day they will all realise then come back to me.
thats always the case.
esp when they break up with their gf,
or find out the truth,
then they will come back to me.
its just the way my life is.
maybe its just God's way in making realise who are really there for me.
its always a test for me.
but no matter what happens,
i LOVE them all the same although they move away or so busy!!

love u all.
muacks.
no matter what i'll stay here and wait.
when u are ready i'll always be waiting.
love u all so much.
[b e a u t i f u l a n g e l]





- Thursday, May 04, 2006 `x




Making Memories Some may think spending the day with a child is doing 'nothing much.' Here's why it's the most important thing in the world.
By Tonna


treasure the time spent with your little ones.

[b e a u t i f u l a n g e l]






When You Divorce Me, Carry Me Out in Your Arms

On my wedding day, I carried my wife in my arms. The bridal car stopped in front of our one-room flat. My buddies insisted that I carry her out of the car in my arms. So I carried her into our home. She was then plump and shy. I was a strong and happy bridegroom. This was the scene ten years ago.The following days were as simple as a cup of pure water: we had a kid, I went into business and tried to make more money. When the assets were steadily increasing, the affections between us seemed to ebb. She was a civil servant. Every morning we left home together and got home almost at the same time. Our kid was studying in a boarding school. Our marriage life seemed to be enviably happy. But the calm life was more likely to be affected by unpredictable changes.Dew came into my life.It was a sunny day. I stood on a spacious balcony. Dew hugged me from behind. My heart once again was immersed in her stream of love. This was the apartment I bought for her. Dew said,"You are the kind of man who best draws girls' eyeballs."Her words suddenly reminded me of my wife. When we just married, my wife said,"Men like you, once successful, will be very attractive to girls."Thinking of this, I became somewhat hesitant. I knew I had betrayed my wife. But I couldn't help doing so. I moved Dew's hands aside and said," You go to select some furniture, O.K.? I've got something to do in the company."Obviously she was unhappy, because I had promised her to go and see with her. At the moment, the idea of divorce became clearer in my mind although it used to be something impossible to me. However, I found it rather difficult to tell my wife about it. No matter how mildly I mentioned it to her, she would be deeply hurt.Honestly, she was a good wife. Every evening she was busy preparing dinner. I was sitting in front of the TV. The dinner was ready soon. Then we watched TV together. Or, I was lounging before the computer, visualizing Dew's body. This was the means of my entertainment.One day I said to her in a slight joking way,"suppose we divorce, what will you do?"She stared at me for a few seconds without a word. Apparently she believed that 'divorce' was something too far away from her. I couldn't imagine how she would react once she got to know I was serious.When my wife went to my office, Dew had just stepped out. Almost all the staff looked at my wife with a sympathetic eye and tried to hide something while talking with her. She seemed to have got some hint. She gently smiled at my subordinates. But I read some hurt in her eyes.Once again, Dew said to me,"He Ning, divorce her, O.K.? Then we live together."I nodded.I knew I could not hesitate any more.When my wife served the last dish, I held her hand."I've got something to tell you,"I said. She sat down and ate quietly. Again I observed the hurt in her eyes. Suddenly I didn't know how to open my mouth. But I had to let her know what I was thinking."I want to divorce."I raised a serious topic calmly. She didn't seem to be much annoyed by my words, instead she asked me softly,"why?"."I'm serious."I avoided her question. This so-called answer turned her angry. She threw away the chopsticks and shouted at me,"you are not a man!"At that night, we didn't talk to each other. She was weeping. I knew she wanted to find out what had happened to our marriage. But I could hardly give her a satisfactory answer, because my heart had gone to Dew.With a deep sense of guilt, I drafted a divorce agreement which stated that she could own our house, our car, and 30% stake of my company. She glanced at it and then tore it into pieces. I felt a pain in my heart. The woman who had been living ten years with me would become a stranger one day. But I could not take back what I had said.Finally she cried loudly in front of me, which was what I had expected to see. To me her cry was actually a kind of release. The idea of divorce which had obsessed me for several weeks seemed to be firmer and clearer.A late night, I came back home after entertaining my clients. I saw her writing something at the table. I fell asleep fast. When I woke up, I found she was still there. I turned over and was asleep again.She brought up her divorce conditions: she didn't want anything from me, but I was supposed to give her one month's time before divorce, and in the month's time we must live as normal life as possible. Her reason was simple: our son would finish his summer vacation a month later and she didn't want him to see our marriage was broken.She passed me the agreement she drafted, and then asked me,"He Ning, do you still remember how I entered our bridal room on the wedding day?"This question suddenly brought back all those wonderful memories to me. I nodded and said,"I remember"."You carried me in your arms", she continued, "so, I have a requirement, that is, you carry me out in your arms on the day when we divorce. From now to the end of this month, you must carry me out from the bedroom to the door every morning."I accepted with a smile. I knew she missed those sweet days and wished to end her marriage with a romantic form. I told Dew about my wife's divorce conditions. She laughed loudly and thought it was absurd."No matter what tricks she does, she has to face the result of divorce,"she said scornfully. Her words more or less made me feel uncomfortable. My wife and I hadn't had any body contact since my divorce intention was explicitly expressed. We even treated each other as a stranger.So when I carried her out for the first day, we both appeared clumsy. Our son clapped behind us,"daddy is holding mummy in his arms."His words brought me a sense of pain. From the bedroom to the sitting room, then to the door, I walked over ten meters with her in my arms. She closed her eyes and said softly,"Let us start from today, don't tell our son."I nodded, feeling somewhat upset. I put her down outside the door. She went to wait for bus, I drove to office.On the second day, both of us acted much more easily. She leaned on my chest. We were so close that I could smell the fragrance of her blouse. I realized that I hadn't looked at this intimate woman carefully for a long time. I found she was not young any more. There were some fine wrinkles on her face.On the third day, she whispered to me, "The outside garden is being demolished.Be careful when you pass there."On the fourth day, when I lifted her up, I seemed to feel that we were still an intimate couple and I was holding my sweetheart in my arms. The visualization of Dew became vaguer.On the fifth and sixth day, she kept reminding me something, such as, where she put the ironed shirts, I should be careful while cooking, etc. I nodded. The sense of intimacy was even stronger. I didn't tell Dew about this. I felt it was easier to carry her.Perhaps the everyday workout made me stronger. I said to her,"It seems not difficult to carry you now."She was picking her dresses. I was waiting to carry her out. She tried quite a few but could not find a suitable one. Then she sighed,"All my dresses have grown fatter."I smiled. But I suddenly realized that it was because she was thinner that I could carry her more easily, not because I was stronger. I knew she had buried all the bitterness in her heart. Again, I felt a sense of pain.Subconsciously I reached out a hand to touch her head.Our son came in at the moment."Dad, it's time to carry mum out."He said. To him, seeing his father carrying his mother out had been an essential part of his life. She gestured our son to come closer and hugged him tightly. I turned my face because I was afraid I would change my mind at the last minute. I held her in my arms, walking from the bedroom, through the sitting room, to the hallway. Her hand surrounded my neck softly and naturally. I held her body tightly, as if we came back to our wedding day. But her much lighter weight made me sad.On the last day, when I held her in my arms I could hardly move a step. Our son had gone to school. She said,"Actually I hope you will hold me in your arms until we are old."I held her tightly and said,"Both you and I didn't notice that our life was lack of such intimacy."I jumped out of the car swiftly without locking the door.I was afraid any delay would make me change my decision. I walked upstairs. Dew opened the door. I said to her,"Sorry, Dew, I won't divorce. I'm serious."She looked at me, astonished. Then she touched my forehead."You got no fever."She said.I moved her hand off my head. "Sorry, Dew," I said, "I can only say sorry to you, I won't divorce. My marriage life was boring probably because she and I didn't value the details of life, not because we didn't love each other any more. Now I understand that since I carried her into the home, she gave birth to our child, I am supposed to hold her until I am old. So I have to say sorry to you."Dew seemed to suddenly wake up. She gave me a loud slap and then slammed the door and burst into tears. I walked downstairs and drove to the office.When I passed the floral shop on the way, I ordered a bouquet for my wife which was her favorite. The salesgirl asked me to write the greeting words on the card.I smiled and wrote,"I'll carry you out every morning until we are old."

i was just reading laxhmi's blog and i found this story.
thanks for letting me use it.
i am touched by this story.
i mean just a simple thing can get a couple together.
i am happy.
this shows that a couple needs a little imtimacy to show that they are in love.
to remind the other that they are there always.

i am happy that my relationship is going fine.
although we do have probs and disagreements here and there,
his pressence and love always make me realise that i have someone.
our relationship is not always sweet, romantic or on cloud 9.
BUT its the small things that baby do that makes it all special.
that makes me remember them all.

he holds me in his hands,
allowing me to cry on his shoulder.
always holding me when i am down.
kissing my forehead and cheeks upon meeting or leaving for home.
these small gestures make me feel so loved.
make me feel i am so wanted.

i love u baby so much.
i am so thankful that i have someone who loves me so much.
i am so grateful for everything.
i love u with all my heart mama.
muacks my fatty bum bum.
my smelly pumpkin.
(",)
[b e a u t i f u l a n g e l]





- Wednesday, May 03, 2006 `x



i am confused??
shld i carry on?
or shld i just give everything up?
i know both of us and said things we shld not have said.
esp things that i have said.
it hurts so much.
my eyes are filled with tears.
my heart is so heavy.
i dun know what to do.
i have no one to turn to.
am i suppose to give in?
what have i done?
my world is spinning.
its not easy to build something so wonderful.
i know i have a big part to play in it.
i am just tired.
i am tired of being someone i am not.
i am tired of acting.
i just dun know what to do anymore!
am i important to u?
am i really wanted by u??
questions i really ask myself when i am down.
when i am left all alone.
and i cant get answers to it all.
i feel helpless.
i cant do anything about it.
all i can say now is sorry.
sorry i've let u down.
sorry i am not the person who u wanted me to be.
sorry i am not up to ya expectations.
sorry that i am even alive!!
[b e a u t i f u l a n g e l]





- Tuesday, May 02, 2006 `x



i am feeling much better.
or so i think.
i was chatting wid geni first.
then mokan was added to the conversation.
it was fun.
nice chat we were having.
then laxhmi was added too.
it was really nice.
the 3 of us were ganging up against moki.
so fun.
they just made me smile and laugh.
it was really nice.

after some time,
there were so mny ppl added to the conversation.
i was so confused!!
my head was spinning.
it was so messy.
i din feel confy wid it.
one of the guy was very rude.
i felt la.

ok nvm all that.
i just enjoyed myself.
and thanks to all you.
muacks.

i feel much better now.
shld be going to sch tml.
[b e a u t i f u l a n g e l]






WIFE VS. HUSBAND

A couple drove down a country road for several miles, not saying a word.
An earlier discussion had led to an argument and neither of them wanted to concede their position.
As they passed a barnyard of mules, goats, and pigs, the husband asked sarcastically, "Relatives of yours?"
"Yep," the wife replied, "in-laws."

WORDS

A husband read an article to his wife about how many words women use a day... 30,000 to a man's 15,000.
The wife replied, "The reason has to be because we have to repeat everything to men...
The husband then turned to his wife and asked, "What?"

CREATION

A man said to his wife one day, "I don't know how you can be so stupid and so beautiful all at the same time,
" The wife responded, "Allow me to explain. God made me beautiful so you would be attracted to me;
God made me stupid so I would be attracted to you!

WHO DOES WHAT

A man and his wife were having an argument about who should brew the coffee each morning.
The wife said, "You should do it, because you get up first, and then we don't have to wait as long to get our coffee."
The husband said, " You are in charge of cooking around here and you should do it, because that is your job, and I can just wait for my coffee."
Wife replies, "No, you should do it, and besides, it is in the Bible that the man should do the coffee."
Husband replies, "I can't believe that, show me."
So she fetched the Bible, and opened the New Testament and showed him at the top of several pages, that it indeed says.......... "HEBREWS"

THE SILENT TREATMENT

A man and his wife were having some problems at home and were giving each other the silent treatment.
Suddenly, the man realized that the next day, he would need his wife to wake him at 5:00 AM for an early morning business flight.
Not wanting to be the first to break the silence (and LOSE), he wrote on a piece of paper, "Please wake me at 5:00 AM."
He left it where he knew she would find it.
The next morning, the man woke up, only to discover it was 9:00 AM and he had missed his flight.
Furious, he was about to go and see why his wife hadn't wakened him, when he noticed a piece of paper by the bed.
The paper said, "It is 5:00 AM. Wake up."
[b e a u t i f u l a n g e l]






for 3 days i've been vomiting at least once/day.
i am tired.
i feel drained!
its as though no one is beside me.
i mean its the feeling of lonliness and helplessness.
i am so tired.
i am so hungry yet i am scared to eat.
i am scared that i will throw up.
arghh..
i hate this feeling.
i wanna go school.
i wanna be with my friends.
i hate this feeling of helplessness.
i wish my love was here.
i love him so much.
but i know he is busy.
guess i have to just take care of myself.
nvm.
i am tired.
going to rest now.
[b e a u t i f u l a n g e l]







my love for him increases.
muacks.


ooohhh..
nod's love for my baby is never ending!


my parents and me!!
thanks for everything.
love them always.


nessa and me.
my sweet angel.


mummy dearest and me.
muacks.


brother and me.
am i really his sister??


my lovely family.
my eldest brother missing in action!!
baby looking else where.
and i block daddy.
[b e a u t i f u l a n g e l]







gals and my wonderful cousin.
so lucky my cousin eh?


vinod, me and baby.
i like this pic so much.
love u both so much!!


my brother not satisfied with his assets.
wants bigger!!


vinod is so turned on with his assets.
wonder what he was thinking when he doing this??


baby's asset is smaller than the rest.
hehe nothing better to do.


baby at damien's hse.
trying to act all cool.


me and baby.
act cute vs act crazy!!
curtain had to disturb!!


naues, me and joel.
love u both sweethearts.
my cousin who are always there for me.


he is so nice.
i like.
irresistable!!


naeus and me.
sexy sexy!!


me, maxi and baby.
both boys dun know how to pose for pics.


b'day boy and me.
at last a pic with you after so long!!
[b e a u t i f u l a n g e l]






you know some people just digust me!!
arghh cant u have ya own style or liking???
damn you man!!
i am getting sick and tired of all ya actions.
i know anyone can like it,
but you are just forcing yaself.
ok maybe my predictions are wrong.
BUT you never had a craze for it.
so why now??
haha its ok.
i hope it can be seen on you!!
i guess people will be talking more abt you soon.
all the best in it.

LOOSER!!
[b e a u t i f u l a n g e l]